


You Are My Sunshine

by YuuyamiArtist



Category: Logan Lucky (2017)
Genre: Cauliflower, Childhood Friends, Clyde is a Sweetheart, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, discussions of death involving a family member, not any of the logan lucky characters, questionable swimming choices, reader is implied to be a woman of color, reunited, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-05 02:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuuyamiArtist/pseuds/YuuyamiArtist
Summary: West Virginia was the only place you’d ever truly felt at home. The Logans were your dearest friends, and when you had to move away it broke your heart. Unbeknownst to you, Clyde Logan’s broke as well.Twelve years later you’re back and ready to reconnect with the past...and there’s quite a bit to get reacquainted with. Not the least of which is Clyde Logan, who has most definitely grown up since you last saw him.Clyde was never able to tell you how he felt. Now that you’re back it might just be a chance at something new. And maybe this time he’ll actually do something about it.





	1. An Ice Cold Virginian Lager

 

 _God, she’s beautiful,_ Clyde thought.

He’d been in love with her since she had stepped foot into his sixth grade class. Big eyes, downcast and shy. Taking a seat without making eye contact with a single student there. She had taken an instant liking to his sister Mellie, who was the only girl in school to sport pink glitter nail polish _and_ oil-stained skin at that age. Mellie had stepped in when some other girls had been pestering her, pulling her under her protection and since then, her and Mellie had been inseparable. Thus, their Logan trio added its fourth member.

Sunlight streamed through the trees, glancing off the pond water’s surface and into her eyes, making them light up spectacularly. They were sitting on a log at the edge of the clearing, her hands splayed out as she leaned back, fingers tapping.

Clyde found himself studying those hands, so much smaller than his own. They were delicate, comparatively speaking, and graceful. Lightning-quick, in and out of pockets faster than a liquor store security guard could finish his own shot of on-the-clock whiskey. He wondered what it would be like to hold one of those clever hands in his own.

His brother had chosen this spot because it was secluded, the perfect place to celebrate after a successful heist. Their prize, a cooler of pilfered beers, was propped to one side of the log the four of them had settled on or near. On the other was a bait box and fishing tackle.

And she sat to his left, close enough to reach out and touch.

Jimmy sat near the pond’s edge, a beer in one hand and a fishing pole held loosely in the other. He stared down at it, willing a fish to appear at the end of the line. Mellie sat on the far side of the log, balancing a beer on her knee and admiring the scenery.

Clyde was also gazing and admiring, but the scenery was not the subject of his attention. Perhaps that was why he noticed it first.

The fourth member of their group’s trademark mischievous smile was absent, exchanged for a somber, far stare out over the water. Worry settled softly in the pit of Clyde’s stomach.

_Is she upset? Why? Today went perfectly..._

It was uncharacteristic of her to be so distant, especially when they had managed to finish a successful “Cauliflower” plan. The Logan siblings were reveling in the spoils of their victory, as only a group of high schoolers engaged in underage drinking could do. Normally, she’d be partaking right along with them, beer in hand. Instead, her hands were occupied with picking at the wood of their makeshift bench, nails scraping along its surface.

Clyde steeled himself, spreading the fingers of his left hand out along the dried wood, slowly reaching towards hers. Tears began to spill slowly down her cheeks before the tips of his fingers could meet hers, and he froze. He tried to speak, tried to move towards her, but his body refused to break the reverie she was lost in.

Mellie noticed it next, eyebrows drawing together. She exchanged a worried glance with Clyde over her head, then extended one expertly manicured hand gently to brush their friend’s shoulder.

“Hey… you alright, honey?”

Jimmy turned, eyes widening as he caught on to her distress, and moved immediately. In an instant he was crouched in front of her, pole abandoned, wiping his dirty hands on his knees.

“Hey, hey, hey… what’s wrong there?”

She let out a hollow laugh, bringing her hands to her face. “Sorry… Sorry,” she mumbled, and took a deep breath in. “I should’ve told you guys this morning, but I really didn’t know how to say it...you’re like my family...”

Jimmy placed his hand on her shoulder and Clyde felt a pang of jealousy for his siblings’ ability to touch her without the heavy weight of awkwardness and uncertainty.

“My parents and my grandad had a fight, and… there was a falling out. They’ve decided to move me back west when the month is up.”

A kind of ringing white noise filled Clyde’s ears, as if he’d been dealt a blow to his head or stood too close to the engines of a jet taking off. It spread through his body down to his fingers, still resting on the decomposing bark of the log, rendering him stiff and unmoving.

Distantly, Clyde could hear his siblings speaking, moving. Reacting to her words.

“...can’t do that…!”

“...we won’t let them…”

“...we’ll think of somethin’...”

Mellie had thrown her arms around her and was holding her close. Jimmy was pacing, back and forth. Both of them were speaking at once. Clyde stared at her as if through a fog, numb and dazed. Unable to register anything that was being said. Everything was wrong, and one thing was becoming abundantly clear.

In less than two weeks, he’d never see her again.

 

His remaining time with her passed by in a blur, the inevitability of the count-down turning his tongue to lead in his mouth. Once or twice his siblings gave him pointed looks at opportune moments, silently urging him to speak during the precious few days they had left with her. But Clyde couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Instead, the words spun around and around in his head like water draining in a sink: _Please...please don’t go…_

 

Jimmy had tried his damndest to come up with a scheme to keep her there. But the “falling out” had been less of a quiet disagreement and more of a raging fight ending in the destruction of precious family artifacts and irreparably damaging familial ties for good. Any hope the Logans had of holding on to the fourth member of their group was lost in the wreckage.

When it finally became apparent to Jimmy that no amount of planning or conniving was going to prevent her parents from uprooting her from their lives, he had privately pulled Clyde aside and placed a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Clyde looked down at his feet, hair falling and obscuring his face. “Not yer fault,” he muttered.

For once in his 6’2” post-pubescent life, Clyde felt small.

“You know,” Jimmy said, ”you might consider tellin’ her how you feel. After all, what’s there to lose?”

Clyde shook his head vehemently and fixed Jimmy with hard stare. “Everything.”

“Clyde...” Jimmy tried to continue, but Clyde just turned his head and left.

 

The day itself was upon them abruptly, and something felt inherently wrong about the love of his life walking right out of it on a Tuesday.

They’d been packing all week. All that was left to do was load her trunk into the back of her parents’ pickup. Clyde did it, hoisting the heavy box over a shoulder; aware he was only using it to hide his face for a brief moment of reprieve. Jimmy and Mellie wouldn’t stop staring at him, and he didn’t want _her_ to pick up on his dejection. He threw the box into the truck bed eventually, and sat up on the trunk for a moment while Jimmy and Mellie said their goodbyes. Mellie taking her hands and reminding her to call as often as she could, Jimmy rounding behind her with a huge protective hug. Clyde went numb as he jumped off the back of the truck, and tried to will his feet to take him over to her. He had so much to tell her, but he knew none of it would ever see the light of day. Mellie softly crept beside him, taking his hand and walking him over to say goodbye. He knew he would be thankful for her guidance later on, but right now, he couldn't feel much of anything.

“Hey Clyde…” her voice cracked. She looked so tired but still managed to be lovely, her hair adorned with the sunflowers she liked to wear as if today were any other day. It made Clyde’s chest feel as if a bruise had spread out across his skin. He couldn’t talk, air vanishing from his lungs and hair finding its way back into his eyes. Mellie tightened her grip on his hand, and he knew he should say something, anything, but once he did, she’d be gone.

“I know you aren’t much for goodbyes...but I will miss you so much. Everytime I drink a Virginian Lager I’ll be thinking of you. You guys are closer to me than family. I felt really alone when I first moved here…” her voice began to break even more, and Clyde’s heart followed its example.

“Well, I won’t get back into that business, but you all know that you are precious. I will do all I can to keep in contact with you. Make sure to have some great adventures to tell me about…” She wrapped her arms around Clyde and he had to clench his mouth shut to keep from actually sobbing. As soon as she released him, she jumped into the truck and rolled down the window. She leaned out and waved through the dust trail that followed, Mellie and Jimmy reciprocating with waves of their own.

 

But Clyde... He didn’t do a damn thing.

 

_____________________________

  


_Trucks sound different in the countryside._ You thought to yourself as you curved through all of the dirt paths you drove as a teen. _The cars in the city sound desperate and hurried. Trucks in the country sound like adventure._

Even twelve years later, you still knew the drive to the Grocery Castle in your muscle memory. The way was so ingrained that you had pulled into the parking lot before you really wrapped your mind around all of the things you’d need. These old roads were making you nostalgic, and the air smelled like the wild grasses you had dreamt of when the smog of the city pulled you further from home.

You hadn’t even really decided what to do now that you had moved back. There was so much to do, and so much time to do it, but figuring out how to find your place in a small town again was going to be confusing. Food was a necessity though, and it was easy enough to prioritize.

The news of your grandfather’s death had come to you reluctantly, as your parents had been loathe to speak of him since you’d moved. They had banned any mention of him and monitored your phone calls and letters closely. The household had all but turned into a police state, with communication limited to friends you’d made in the city in case you were asking anyone in West Virginia to speak to him for you. It was painful, as you’d been close. And in losing him, you’d lost your friend group back home as well.

It came as a shock to you and your parents alike when he died and left everything he owned to you.

There wasn’t much money, but there was his home and several decades’ worth of accumulated knick-knacks and memories that you were now responsible for. And you already knew that sorting through them would bring up things you weren’t really ready to deal with -- walking through the door of the house you’d spent your childhood in had already proven that. So you had opted to go for food when the grief had started to feel overwhelming.

The stale refrigerated air of the Grocery Castle washed over you as the automatic doors opened at your approach. The checker at the front looked like he could have been familiar at one point, but time had a way of making strangers of people. You grabbed a cart and began navigating the aisles on autopilot, scanning the shelves for your usual choices.

Yes, this you could do. This was easier.

You were in the middle of deciding between two brands of coffee when you heard a familiar voice call out to you.

“...Sunny? Is that Sunny?”

You hadn’t heard the nickname in years, and for a moment you almost didn’t realize that the woman was speaking to you until recognition clicked into place. She was unmistakable the moment you turned and spotted her at the end of the aisle, appraising you through her lashes.

“Mellie?” you asked, though you knew it was her.

Mellie hadn’t changed very much. She still sported her good looks like a weapon, the way she had as a teen. If anything, she had only honed them into something sharper, deadlier, yet still sugary sweet. She was looking at you as if she had seen a ghost, and it took a moment for you to realize that you were doing the exact same thing.

“Sunny...you’re back?” Mellie jogged over to you from her side of the aisle, completely abandoning her cart. As soon as she reached a close enough distance, she smacked your shoulder with enough force to leave a small red welt.

“Ouch! Mellie, what on earth..?” You were about to lay into her, but she cut you off by wrapping her arms tightly around you and swinging you in the air.

“You stupid girl, how could you not tell us that you were comin’ back?” You huffed a surprised laugh that was more air than humor as she released you and took a step back, keeping you in arm’s length so she could peer at your face again.

“It was all a little bit unexpected,” you said, floundering a bit for words. “My grandfather, he… He passed away.”

“Right… we heard,” she said, eyebrows pulling together. “I’m real sorry. He was a good man.”

You nodded, swallowing a lump in your throat. “Thank you.”

“Forgive me for sayin’, but we didn’t really expect you to come back after your parents had that big fallin’ out. If you were, you should’ve sent me a message or called!” She sounded mostly indignant, but there was an undercurrent of pain in her tone that hurt more than the smack.

You winced and your shoulders hunched a little. “I know, I know. My parents didn’t want me contacting anyone back home… But I should’ve found a way. I’m sorry.”

Mellie pursed her lips, but relented, expression softening. “What made them change their mind?”

Your mouth twisted into a bitter excuse for a smile. “They probably wouldn’t have, but he named me sole inheritor in his will.”

Mellie’s eyes went wide and you could see the questions begin to boil over.

“Doesn’t mean I’m a rich lady Mellie, you know gramps didn’t own a lot. But it does mean I have his house now. Not sure what I’m going to do with it, though...my parents don’t want me to keep it. They said I should sell it, make some money off of it and head back, but there is a lot of stuff that I need to sort out of there. Gramps saved a little bit of everything. There are just… a lot of decisions to be made.”

Mellie’s eyes flashed for a second, a habit you noticed when she started concocting plans alongside Jimmy, but then it was gone. You thought it might have been a trick of the buzzing fluorescent lights.

“I’m sorry, honey. That’s a lot on your shoulders,” she said.

You shrugged, feeling very tired. She peered into your face, eyes darting every which way as if she were cataloguing each minute detail. Were it anyone else, you would cower under this level of scrutiny. But Mellie’s focus only felt familiar, and oddly nostalgic.

“Hey, you know what I think you need..?”

“A cold Virginian Lager?”

“Twelve years couldn’t change you if they tried.” She grinned brightly, reaching out to squeeze your hand. “And I know just the place!”

 

_____________________________

  


Clyde leaned on the bar with his right elbow, watching the race on the flat screen across from Jimmy. His brother had recently gotten out of work, and was ready to start his evening like he usually did when Sadie was with her mother; by sharing it with him and a bottle of Coors Light. Clyde sighed. His bet was in last place, and there was no point in continuing to watch. He started to dry off some tall glasses, avoiding Jimmy’s teasing smirk.

“Graham Hill’s in last place, Rossi’s in first. Guess this one is on the house tonight?” Jimmy grinned, and threw back another swallow.

“We never did decide what the winner would get…” Clyde mumbled, but knew that even if he had won, Jimmy wouldn’t be paying for his drink anyway. Older siblings rights he supposed.

“Ya know, I feel like this is just one more example…” Clyde started, before Jimmy rolled his eyes and set his beer heavily on the counter.

“You’re not startin’ that tonight. I will not be hearing of curses or bad luck or…” Jimmy’s rant tapered off as his phone started to buzz audibly on the counter.

Clyde noted Mellie’s name blink on the screen and raised a brow.

“You paid your phone bill this month?”

“Yeah, Bobbie Jo started helpin’ at the lot and hours with Sadie got a little weird. Need to be ready to pick her up on a dime for a while.” Jimmy sighed, flicking through his phone.

“Damn this screen…” He grumbled, wiping his hands of the beer’s condensation and trying again.

“Let me.” Clyde sighed, taking Jimmy’s phone from him with his right hand and accessing his messages with relative ease at this point.

“It’s from Mellie. She says that Su…” The air stayed trapped inside Clyde’s lungs, and his hand stopped scrolling. Everything came to a sudden, screeching halt and the faint sound of the race on the tv in the background was the only thing keeping the rising panic filling his head at bay. His eyes traced the words over and over again, fearing that he had read it wrong...fearing that he read it right...and trying to understand the circumstance with absolutely no context or ability for coherent thought.

“Clyde? What did Mellie say?” Jimmy frowned, reaching over and prying the phone out of Clyde’s frozen hand.

“No fucking way…” Jimmy muttered breathlessly, face slowly breaking into a grin reaching from ear to ear. “She’s coming _here_ , Clyde.”

Clyde’s eyes shot up from floor and back to Jimmy’s, panicked and wild.

“How much time…” Clyde began, before the bar door opened and Mellie stepped in, holding the door for someone following close behind her.

“I’d say about two seconds…” Jimmy whispered.

  



	2. Reappearences

 

You smiled outside of the bar, glancing up at the illuminated sign, laughing at the idea of naming a bar “Duck Tape”. 

“Whose bright idea was that?” you asked, kicking off some of the mud drying on the side of your shoe before entering.

“I’ll give you one guess…” Mellie answered, nails clacking on the side of the door as she held it open for you.

“I don’t know. It sounds like it could be Jimmy, or maybe even…” The words died on your tongue as you entered the dimly lit bar, and immediately spotted your old ringleader, Mr. Jimmy Logan himself.

Jimmy stood up from his bar stool, arms spread wide, and lumbered over to you grinning bright enough to make the past twelve years melt away into a vague memory.

“Sun!” he cried, voice muffled in your hair as he squeezed all of the air out of your lungs. 

“Hi Jimmy! I see you still play football…” you smiled, laughing as he finally released you and took a step back to see how you had changed. You knew you did, but you worried that time only made you look worn down. 

“Nah, don’t do much of that anymore, but I can’t lose these guns. My girl just keeps getting bigger! Gotta be able to carry her around still.”

“Jimmy, you have a daughter?” you gasped, those twelve years rebounding back and hitting you at full gale force. 

“Sun, you’ve been away too long dear…” Mellie tsked, her eyebrow arching disapprovingly.  

“Clearly…” you replied breathlessly. A child. Your childhood friend had an actual child. And you weren’t there for it...

“Sure do. Here, let me show you a picture!” Jimmy patted his pockets for his phone, frowning when his hands turned up empty. “Where in the goldarned…”

“...Here.”

You turned to the bartender, who had been quiet up till this point. He was holding out Jimmy’s phone in his far hand, reaching across his chest. You followed his hand over to his other, eyes widening slightly when you realized why exactly he wasn’t just handing over the phone with his closer one. Jimmy cleared his throat softly and took the phone out of the bartender’s hand. You broke your gaze, realizing your eyes had lingered on his arm a little too long. Readying a quick apology for your unintentional curiosity, you finally locked eyes with the man and ice cold realization trickled down your body before the words could make it out.

“Clyde..?”

The bartender gave you a curt nod, then resumed his previous occupation of drying the glasses.

You felt dread sink heavy in your stomach.  _ That was so rude of me. I know much better than that! _ You berrated yourself internally until Mellie finally spoke to break the thick atmosphere.

“So about that drink, my dear! You need one after all you’ve been through...and we need to hear what you’ve been up to.” She pulled you over to a bar stool and sat you down between Jimmy and herself.

You mentally worshipped Mellie for guiding you out of your own social fumbling. She had always been able to navigate social situations better than anyone in your group. You were going to need to apologize for that at some point, but in the back of your mind, questions whirled.  _ How did Clyde lose his arm? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Jimmy has a child. I wasn’t here for any of this...Clyde is already upset with me… _

The steady momentum of panic came to a sudden halt when a bright green bottle came into view, placed before your hands. You looked up quickly and recognized the label of your favorite beer.

“Just like old times,” Jimmy grinned.

“Yeah...Oh! Thank you Clyde!” You fumbled, your cheeks and ears still burning with embarrassment. Clyde just nodded again, not meeting your eyes, and went to retrieve another drink out of the fridge for Mellie. With him finally looking elsewhere, you allowed yourself a quick survey of your now-grown childhood friend; and grown he was. Clyde had always been the tallest of your group. A point of contention for Jimmy, up until it was in his favor to be shorter as a quarterback. Now Clyde’s body had finally matched up with his height. His shoulders had broadened, and he filled out his button-down without any trace of teenage lankiness. His arms were muscular and toned, and you knew he must do something other than bartending to occupy his day time. He kept his trademark hair, long enough to cover the ears that used to get him teased all through middle school. The very same teasing that had bonded the two of you so close before. Guilt started to seep into your veins faster than the alcohol could catch.

Clyde finally dug out the ale that Mellie loved from the back of the fridge and set it on the counter. Mellie popped off the cap without any assistance, and lifted the bottle up to you and Jimmy.

“A toast, to catching up with the past?” She smiled.

You returned it, and clinked the bottles together, bringing the soothing lager back to your lips.

“So Sunny, you have a lot of past to catch us up  _ on _ . You pull a Jimmy and have a little one or two running around yet?”

The soothing lager made a re-appearance all over the clean bar counter. You coughed and thumped your chest lightly to help settle your lungs and frayed nerves. Blinking away the tears that had pooled in the corner of your eyes, courtesy of the sharp pain in your throat. When you looked up, you were shocked to find that attention had not been glued to you and your mess. Instead, all eyes were on Clyde, who had dropped a rack of dirty shot glasses from the top of the bussing tray. His mouth was pulled in a tight line as he swept up the larger glass chunks with a hand towel.

“Uh...no. None of those for me,” you choked out, still clearing your airway of beer and humiliation.

Mellie handed you a napkin and you started wiping up the mess that you made on the counter.

“No good men back west?”

“Not that Mel, I just didn’t have the time…” That was mostly the truth. School had taken up a huge chunk of your time, but it had also been an escape. You didn’t have to see your parents much if you stayed on campus and studied.

“What have you been up to then, Sun?” Jimmy chimed in, offering you his napkin as well.

“Finished up my degree and started teaching a little here and there. Never anything serious, but it has been busy. It’s true when people say teaching doesn’t end when class is done.”

Jimmy shook his head and smirked.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t see you, Sunny, our little thief and distraction maker, becoming a play-by-the-rules teacher…”

“Says Jimmy, kinghead of the  _ pin _ head schemes and bad decisions, now up for father-of-the-year award?” You shot back.

In the background, you could hear Clyde chuckle softly. He came back around with a towel for the counter, and another lager for you. He took the previously spilled one away and started cleaning up the remaining spots of beer.

“I’m sorry about that, Clyde. Didn’t mean to make a mess in your workplace…” You blushed.

“Actually, he’s the owner of this fine establishment,” Jimmy said, tilting his own beer to his brother in praise.

Your eyebrows raised. “Really? Clyde that’s wonderful.”

Clyde stopped wiping the counter momentarily to mumble a quiet “thank you,” but didn’t look up. Falling back into friendship was easy with Mellie and Jimmy, but Clyde seemed apprehensive around you, and you worried your previous insensitivity might’ve upset him.

“So, are you the one that named it?” you asked, determined to get more than a two-word answer out of him.

Clyde looked over at you, curiosity coloring his eyes. Yes, this was much better than watching them settle on everything  _ but _ you.

“Yes, in fact I did.”

That was five words.

You smiled and leaned back on the stool. “Would that be because, like duck tape, alcohol fixes everything..?”

For the first time since you entered the bar, the smallest quirk appeared on the corner of Clyde’s mouth and softened his stoic expression just a hair.

“That  _ would _ be the reason.”

You giggled softly at his dry wit, just like it was when you two were younger. He always had some remark regarding Jimmy’s plans, but no matter what that plan was, or how much he complained, he was always right there in the thick of it. You always admired that loyalty of his. His eyes had stayed the same too, expressive and warm, even when the rest of him was hard lines and angles. You held his gaze for a brief moment, taking in just how much he had matured through the years. Age certainly had refined him...

“Yeah, Clyde’s had the Duck Tape for a few years, now. Seeing you walk through the door sure was a trip!” Jimmy said, breaking you from your thoughts. “I got your text right before you walked in.”

“Must’ve been goin’ through a dead zone,” Mellie replied. “I ran into Sunny over at the Grocery Castle. She needed a drink, and we have a bartender.”

“What were you doing over at the Grocery Castle?” Jimmy asked, and your ears pricked at the underlying note to Jimmy’s tone, making you wonder what about that shopping mart had triggered his protective older brother instincts.

Mellie smiled sweetly, but there was a glimmer in her eye. “I get real good discounts there.”

Jimmy growled. “Even after that pissant-”

“He wised up after he had that unfortunate accident with my nail file,” Mellie said, idly examining her expertly manicured fingertips. “Now he’s quite the gentleman. Even held the door for us on the way out.”

You had thought it was a bit strange when the Grocery Castle manager had “held” the automatic door as you were leaving because “ _ Sometimes these dern things jus’ close. _ ”

“Anyway,” Mellie continued, “Sunny here was tellin’ me that she’s back to sort through the house her granddad left her.”

Jimmy turned to you, eyebrows raised. “You’re sorting through that whole house? Sun, I remember what it was like when we’d all sleep over. There was barely enough room for us to stand on the floor, let alone sleep on it. Your grandad fancied himself a...collector.”

You smiled to yourself and let the memory of your sleepovers together warm you alongside your beer, which was slowly dipping below halfway finished. Jimmy was right, you all had opted to set up sleeping bags in the yard and sleep under the stars instead. Your grandad would make enough eggs and bacon for four and leave it on the porch window as your wake up call. A moment in time that could never be replaced in your heart when you moved away.

“Yeah, it’ll be keeping me busy for a while. Can’t really bear to just get rid of it all, so much of that was important to him.” 

“Have you gotten started on it?” 

“No...I just got in last night. Was too tired to start and just fell asleep on the sofa. Decided I’d start today but I got a bit hungry I suppose…”

Mellie nodded and tapped her beer with a polished nail. 

“Well Sunny, what’s the plan with the stuff then? You can’t keep it all if you’ll be livin’ there for some time.”

“I think I’m going to grab some boxes at the flea market tomorrow. Need to start organizing before I figure out what can be thrown away or saved.”

“So you are plannin’ on stayin a while..?”

Clyde surprised you by returning to the conversation. He really was more quiet than you remembered him being, and it only piqued your curiosity further.

“Yeah I think I need this time with his stuff...I found out about his passing a while after it happened, and my parents didn’t really give me space for mourning.” 

Clyde nodded slowly, and fixed you with a gentle stare. He looked conflicted, as if he wanted to say more, but a hush had fallen over the group at the mention of your parents. They hadn’t ever really liked you hanging around the Logans and their “trouble-making” ways, and the Logans didn’t appreciate the disapproving stares any time they stopped by to see you. But when you stayed at your grandfather’s house, the three of them were always welcome.

“I’m real sorry to hear of your grandad’s passing, Sun,” Jimmy said, giving your shoulder a small squeeze.

“Thanks Jimmy…” you sighed, finishing up the last of your beer.

“I’ll go with you tomorrow. I have the day off from the salon, and I would love to get a little shoppin’ done myself.” Mellie piped up, signaling Clyde for another beer. “...And now that I think about it, if you’re buying a bunch of large boxes, you’ll need a strong man to help you carry it all.”

You laughed. “Mel, I think I can handle boxes...and besides, you’ll be going too.”

Mellie smirked and waved her fingers near your eyes. “Actually hun, I just got these done yesterday and as much as I love you, I will not ruin a fresh set of acrylics for your box collecting.”

Clyde returned and set a chilled beer in front of Mellie, which she raised and pointed in his direction. “Besides, we’ve got a strong man right here.”

Clyde regarded the bottle pointing in his direction, then turned and locked eyes with Jimmy, passing him a deadpan and unreadable expression. You quirked an eyebrow and followed Clyde’s gaze to Jimmy.

“Sorry Clyde, ladies. I have to pick up Sadie tomorrow. She’s decided she wants to join the Girl Scouts now, and we’ve gotta get some supplies before her next meeting.”

Mellie grinned and took a swig. “Guess that leaves you, Clyde. You aren’t doing anythin’.”

Clyde turned back curtly to fix Mellie with another unreadable, slightly withered expression. You opened your mouth to say that he didn’t need to feel pressured, but he nodded his agreement before you could spare him. Another apology required.  _ Guess I’ll just add it to my tab. _

Mellie tossed back her beer with the talent and speed of a true West Virginian, and set it on the counter with a loud clack.

“Well guys, I think it’s about time to get going. Sun, Clyde, I’ll see you two at the market tomorrow around 9:00am.” She stood from the bar and sauntered away, giving one last wave on her way out.

_ Guess I’m getting the check,  _ you thought, waving back to her. You started to fish around in your bag for a bill large enough to cover Mellie’s two drinks and your two lagers, both drunk and spilled, but Clyde placed his hand on the counter, blocking you from setting the cash down.

“It’s on the house.”

You looked up quickly, about to protest, but Clyde’s warm eyes held yours, a small smile fitted the corner of his lips, and you lost the will to argue.  _ He’s got a nice smile. I’d love to see more of it. _ You thought to yourself, stuffing the bills back in your bag wherever they’d fit and stood to leave.  _ Either that, or that lager is stronger than I remember it being. _

“Well, thank you very much for the drinks, Clyde. It was so nice seeing you two. I really hope tomorrow isn’t going to be a bother. You don’t have to join us if you don’t feel up for it…”

Clyde shook his head once. “I’ll be there, it’s no trouble.”

You didn’t really believe that it wasn’t any trouble, but you were happy to be able to spend a little bit more time with him. There was a lot to catch up on, and you needed to apologize for a few things at this point. You turned and gave Jimmy a big hug, promising to make time to talk more with him about everything you’d missed soon. Clyde stepped around the side of the bar counter as you finished your goodbyes with Jimmy, hand out and ready to shake. You looked down at it and smirked, opting instead to wrap him in a quick, tight hug. You were careful to avoid bumping his prosthetic, wary not to draw more attention to it than you already had. Your head only came up to his chest and it was comforting to know that Clyde would always tower over you. You grabbed your bag off of the back of the bar stool and waved to the both of your old friends, heading back out to your truck.

Turning the ignition, you took a deep breath and spared a moment to settle yourself. Things were so different. This place was so comforting in the old scents and sounds, but the people were ever-changing. Re-settling here was going to be a challenge, but at least some things stayed the same. Mellie was still leading you around the town, Jimmy continued to drink Coors Light, and Clyde still didn’t know what to do when someone hugged him. You started the short drive home, readying yourself for another long night on the sofa.

 

_____________________________

  
  


Clyde watched as the door swung shut behind her, still feeling the ghost of her arms enveloping him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could feel Jimmy’s eyes boring into his skull, burning hotter than his cheeks were.

“You got somethin’ to say?” he asked shortly.

“You just got a little sumthin’...all over here...” Jimmy chuckled, gesturing to Clyde’s cheeks, ears...face. Clyde pointedly ignored Jimmy’s words, and returned to finding small tasks to occupy himself. “In all seriousness, didn’t think that’d be a face we’d ever see again…” 

Clyde leaned back against the liquor cabinet and regarded Jimmy with an even expression. “Are you referrin’ to her face or mine?”

Jimmy didn’t respond for a moment, staring thoughtfully at the back of the label on his bottle. “Both I guess. Really is like old times...”

  
  



	3. The Good Old Days

 

 

You woke up to the pungent smell of mothballs and a crick in your neck from the armrest. Eventually you’d have to go and clean out that bedroom, but that was a task for another day. You stretched out your joints with several satisfying pops, and went to your trunk to dig out a different outfit. People saw you in this yesterday, and you ended up sleeping in it too. After grabbing a quick meal from the nearby grocer, you started towards the flea market, close to the heart of the town. Some small shops here and there had changed, going from tailors to car lots or window dressing shops, but the roads and landscape stayed the same. Driving here was so easy, no heavy traffic, and every road lead to a place you had been to many times before, in a far off dream.

You parked your truck outside the main gates of the flea market and stood by waiting for Mellie and Clyde to show. You realized you should probably ask for their numbers again. The two of them pulled up in a sporty red car right next to you, skirting a little too close for your comfort.  _ Mellie is definitely driving _ , you sighed. The two of them stepped out, Mellie looking lovely and Clyde as if he was dragged out of bed by his feet, barely managing to find it in him to run a comb through his hair and put on a decent pair of jeans.

“You doing alright there, Clyde?” you asked, stifling a giggle at his sleepy eyes.  _ He looks like a child. _

Clyde nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “ ‘m fine...just a bit early for me.”

“Bartenders are nocturnal folks, like possums.” Mellie sniffed, elbowing his side playfully. You grinned, falling into step with them so the three of you could enter the gate together. The flea market was a decent size for your small town. Saturday mornings drew crowds, so it was nice having Clyde nearby as you struggled to maneuver through the throngs of people. He parted the sea of shoppers like a ship’s bow parted waves.

The market had everything from cassettes to lawn chairs, some of the stands specializing in a particular type of item while others had an assortment of anything and everything, as if they’d tipped their house’s contents into bins for people to pick through. The three of you stuck close together as you perused the stalls.

“Hey Clyde, do they have mirrors?” Mellie said, raising her voice above the hum of conversation as she pointed to a stall across the way.

Clyde, at a visibility advantage, looked where she had gestured and nodded, still squinting some of the sleep out of his eyes. You felt bad he got coerced into joining you this morning, when clearly his work hours didn’t suit these early shopping trips. Mellie broke away from your small group to pick through a bin filled with large mirrors. You and Clyde meandered toward her slowly, watching for bins and foot traffic alike. By the time you made it over to her, Mellie had already begun bargaining with the stall owner.

“...all of this for 40.”

“ _ Excuse _ me?” the woman said, then regarded Mellie as though she were an aunt patronizing an overindulged child. “These are  _ antiques _ , honey. They’re from the 1920’s. Those frames are hand carved in oak. They’re worth at least ten times more than that, each, and  _ that _ price is marked down.”

Mellie tapped her acrylics against the closest mirror frame. “Really, now. I didn’t realize they made oak in plastic nowadays.”

The woman sputtered and grew a little red in the face. “Are you questioning the legitimacy of my  _ goods _ ?”

Clyde leaned over to you and muttered, “This may take a while…” His baritone carrying the words easily to your ear. You made a note of how low his voice had become.  _ Had it always sounded so deep? _

There was a food truck on the outskirts of the market selling coffee, and you touched Clyde’s right arm and pointed in its direction, crowd getting far too noisy to speak comfortably. He nodded in understanding.

“Hey Mellie? We’re going to go grab something over there real quick,” you called, struggling to be heard over the cacophony.

She turned from her current victim, expression switching to a warm smile. “Alright. Have fun, you guys!”

The two of you made your way over to the truck. Clyde waited next to it while you stood in line, leaning beside the ordering window, long legs crossed at his ankles.

“Two large coffees! Room for lots of cream in one, please.” Clyde quirked an eyebrow in your direction, immediately straightening up and fumbling for his wallet. You beat him to it, and quickly paid the young teen running the truck.

“Here,” you said, handing Clyde his coffee and steering the two of you over to the side table with cream and sugar.

“You didn’t have to do that. I could’ve gotten it.” Clyde mumbled, stirring in a meager teaspoon of cream and little else.

“I owe you a drink,” you responded decisively, pouring a fountain of sugar into your own cup. Clyde smirked as he watched you, handing over a stirring straw.

“Little early in the mornin’ for drinkin’...” You turned back to him and held up your coffee like an alcoholic beverage ready to cheers to.

“I think this one will be fine, unless you're carrying around a flask of something nice and strong, Bartender.”

Clyde smiled down at you, and tapped his coffee cup with yours. The two of you found seats near the food truck, comfortable in silence for a moment. The caffeine felt good as it spread through your body, you could only imagine it was helping Clyde as well. You were surprised when he was the one to eventually break the silence.

“Have you been able to settle in at all?”

You thought about how much stuff you had left to do and huffed out a humourless laugh. “No, not really. Grandad’s house is just as  _ much _ as we all remember. Hard to find a spot to even rest my head, but I guess that’s why we’re here.”

Clyde nodded and took another long sip of his coffee.“What about with the people…?”

You frowned. Even before you left, the only friends you had were the Logans, and maybe a couple acquaintances from class, but fitting in had been a challenge.

“Haven’t really had the time for socializing. This is probably as ‘public’ as I’ve been since I got in. But it’s nice to be with you three again.” Clyde’s eyes warmed a little and fell down to your hands. You looked down to your own hands and your thoughts traveled back to Clyde’s. The questions bubbled again behind your lips, but you kept them at bay. He’d hopefully tell you when he was ready, and you were determined not to make him uncomfortable.

“Shall we pick up the search once more?” you asked, standing and setting your chair back in place. Clyde nodded, looking more awake than before and the two of you set back out into the fray.

Eventually, you did find a stand selling large bins and boxes perfect for your sorting needs. The two of you started counting out how many you’d need when a voice behind you made you flinch in surprise.

“Sun?! Sunny is that you?” The owner of the stand sauntered over, hand on the rim of his hat as he tipped it up to look at you. It took you a moment to recognize the man who knew you in an instant. When he reached the two of you, it was the freckles spread across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose that finally pieced the puzzle together, as much as you wished it hadn’t. High school hadn’t been great, and while Teddy Mulligan never actively participated in the bullying, he certainly didn’t intervene.

“Hi Teddy. How are you?” you forced out, starting to pick at the fraying hem of your shorts.

“Jeez Sun, haven’t seen you for years? Where did you go off to?”

You smiled politely and steeled yourself for the monotony of the “what are you doing with your life” talk.

“Well, I moved back out west with my family for a bit, but my grandad passed away. I’m going through his things now.”

“Ah, sorry to hear ‘bout that darlin’.” You flinched at the pet name, finding that years of western life made you prickle at the moniker. Or perhaps it was just because it was Teddy.

“Yes, thank you. So, how much would it be for about twenty of these collapsable ones?” You gestured, steering the conversation back to the necessary exchange.

“Ah, it’s you, Sun! You can have ‘em all for thirty bucks.” You nodded and began rummaging through your bag. “You know Sun, it really is great to see you again. Hey! Where are those sunflowers you used to wear in your hair all the time?” You sighed, really hoping to keep the conversation to the exchange of goods, but that just wasn’t how it was done here in West Virginia.

“They don’t grow wild as much out west. Guess I got out of the habit.”

“Well that’s a shame, darlin’! They made you look so lovely. You’ve always been pretty for someone of your color, you know?”

You froze solid, fist clenched around whatever bills you had found first. You could feel your face turn red with unspoken shock and frustration. That coffee suddenly didn’t sit well in your stomach and you fought the decision between talking your stomach down from its riot or forcing the rage out of your hands.

Teddy must’ve noticed your sudden change in demeanor and started stammering out quick words. “Well, ya know what I mean, your complexion and what not…” He scoffed, adjusting his hat. “Come on, don’t be like that, Sun.”

You took a deep breath as quietly as you could and began counting the bills once more.  _ I did NOT miss this out west. Just classic... _ You hissed to yourself internally, fumbling your count and forcing you to start again. From behind, you felt Clyde step to your side and unpocket his wallet roughly. He held the other man’s eyes for a moment, before unclenching his tightened jaw and biting out his next words.

“Mulligan, you never did know when to stop  _ running your mouth, _ ” he growled, letting his voice fall even deeper than it had before. You stood by his side, too overwhelmed to do anything but watch the scene unfold. He placed a few bills on the table before Teddy, who was gaping like a fish, unable to speak.

“And for your information, she ain’t just pretty, she’s beautiful.”

Behind, you were distantly aware of Mellie returning to your group, mirrors clanking together under her arm. Clyde reached down and grabbed the boxes with his right hand, leaning them on his prosthetic for balance. You followed him away from the stall, stunned speechless and burning red.

The three of you walked back to your truck quietly, giving you some time to breathe and let your boiling blood cool to a steady simmer. Teddy had always been an idiot. He was ignorant, and unaware of anyone else’s experience, like many of the people you had gone to school with. The whole situation harkened right back to when you moved here as a child. Unable to find a place for yourself until you met the Logans, they made you right at home as part of their mischievous group. Jimmy, Mellie, and Clyde had always been this way. Whenever an unfortunate idiot felt the need to make a  _ comment _ , they would find their prize sweet sixteen car sans spark plugs or sporting an interesting new paint job. As much as you appreciated their valor, you wished you had it in you to confront them yourself. It was hard reacting with intention through your fury and years of learned coping mechanisms.

Finally reaching your truck, Clyde loaded up the bed of it with the boxes and automatically began strapping everything down.

His face was still set like it was at the stall; drawn brows and mouth pulled into a tight line. He had really let Teddy have it. He even called you...beautiful. Your heart skipped slightly, blush starting to form.  _ I can’t remember the last time someone called me that…  _ You knew he was doing it to protect you. Clyde would always jump into a situation to protect someone he was loyal to, and you felt the weight of that honor, humbled to still be a part of that exclusive group despite the time spent away.

He had stayed absolutely silent during his work, hopping off the truck bed and wiping his right hand on his jeans. You bit your lip and walked up to him, aware that you now had an awful lot to apologize for.

“Hey Clyde…” He turned to face you, unease apparent in his hunched shoulders and the slight flush across his cheeks. He looked like he had some words hidden in there too, but you needed to speak first.

“I wanted to first and foremost, thank you. For everything back there. You really didn’t need to pay for me.” You took a steadying breath. “And I am trying to get better with...all of that. It’s been a while since I’ve encountered it so blatantly.” Clyde’s eyebrows drew together, but he let you continue. “And I don’t want to come back here and make you and the others fight my battles for me like you did when I was younger.” Clyde took a step closer to you.

“Your battles  _ are _ our battles, Sun.”

You gave him a small smile but continued on. “I also...need to apologize. Teddy wasn’t the only thoughtless one lately.”

Clyde looked taken aback suddenly, searching your face over with intent.  _ Goodness, those eyes... _

“Yesterday at the bar, I think I might’ve...come off as rude. I hadn’t known much about anyone since leaving. So I didn’t know about Jimmy’s daughter...or your arm...and I am really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” You spoke slowly, getting all of the words out and feeling slightly better after having them laid at his feet.

Clyde stood still for a moment, clearly unsure of how to respond. You began fidgeting again, pulling at loose threads here and there. Eventually, he held out his left arm, letting you freely inspect its unique structure. It had a sharp black form with delicate fingers that responded electronically. It was truly breathtaking.

“Didn’t actually lose my whole arm. It’s a transradial amputation, so it’s just my hand.”

You looked up to Clyde’s face, and there was a red tinge staining his cheeks. “It’s okay Sun, didn’t upset me or nuthin’.” You nodded and looked back to his arm, trying to keep your own blush under control. Hearing him accept your apology let the remaining ties of stress release in your stomach. You leaned down to inspect the fingers a little more, noticing the delicate connections.

“This prosthetic is a work of art,” you breathed. Clyde nodded, letting his arm fall back down to his side. The tips of his ears peeking through his hair were tinted a dusty pink.

“Cost a pretty penny too,” Mellie sighed, closing her own trunk. “So hun, are you starting clean up today?”

“Maybe this evening. I still need to finish unpacking a bit of my own stuff. Tomorrow will probably be the real test.”

Mellie nodded and glanced over at Clyde, who was wiping dust off of his prosthetic.

She tilted her head in his direction. “Well, if you need any help with that, Clyde doesn’t work during the day time.”

You raised your eyebrows and gave Mellie a reproachful stare. “Mellie, you can’t keep volunteering Clyde for everything!”

Mellie quirked a smile and nodded. “Alright, that’s fair…”

“Well, I am free during the day time.”

The both of you turned to Clyde with mirroring looks of surprise.

“Clyde, I really mean it. You don’t need to feel like you have to help me with everything…”

Clyde glanced to the ground, before quickly lifting his eyes back to yours. “I know. But I am offerin’ to help if you’d like it.”

You shifted uncomfortably on your feet. The house...brought back too many memories. It was hard to get started on anything because every time you picked up something to discard, you remembered how he appreciated it, and it made you feel obligated to keep it. If Clyde did join you, it could be really helpful for staying on track.

“Okay Clyde. Two conditions. One: You can only help out if you really aren’t busy. Two: I am paying you.”

“Sun, there is no way…”

“Those are the rules. No exceptions.”

Clyde tightened his lips again, and you felt that little skip in your chest once more.  _ His pout never really changed. _

“Fine. But I get to choose in what.”

You heard Mellie stifle a strong laugh behind a hand, doing a poor job of disguising it as a cough.

“Okay...what am I paying you in?” ****

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is all done, edits and all! I will be uploading the chapters once a day until all nine chapters are up.  
> To those that have already commented and left kudos...
> 
> I love you.


	4. The Dining Room

 

 

“You know Clyde, most men would’ve been asked to be paid in beer…” You called, raising your voice over the sound of the bacon frying.

“Don’t need it. Got plenty.”

You shook your head, smiling in spite of yourself. “You like it crispy, right?”

“Burnt,” he said from the other room. You wrinkled your nose but cooked it to his liking, leaving it in the pan until it was practically charcoal. When it was done you arranged it on an old floral plate and brought it - along with a cup of coffee with a splash of cream - into the dining room where Clyde was scooping knick-knacks from the shelves and depositing them in boxes. You set the plate down on the recently cleared table and surveyed his work. He’d already finished one shelf and was halfway through the next, all in the time it took you to cook the bacon.

“You’re making quick work of that!” you said approvingly, offering him the cup of coffee.

Clyde set a stack of books in a bin and took the cup from your hand, settling into one of the chairs. You took a seat next to him as he started inhaling the bacon.

“Thank you,” he said between bites. “I figured you could still look through what I’d done. Decide if you want to keep anythin’.”

“Perfect, thank you,” you replied, taking a sip of your coffee. “Once all of this is packed away, we can start moving the shelves outside and I’ll just stick a sign on them: Free to loving home!”

Clyde leaned back and appraised the room. “There is a lot of furniture in here.”

“Yeah and most of it is completely unnecessary. Just had all these tables and shelves for the stuff he kept getting at garage sales and the like. We stopped eating in here when I was twelve. After that, we had to move all of our meals out to the backyard. I was nearly attacked by a raccoon once.”

Clyde looked at you over the rim of his cup, eyes twinkling with mirth. “...Really?”

“No. Because I was smart enough to drop my hot dog.”

Clyde snorted into his coffee, spilling a couple of droplets onto his collar and shook with barely-contained laughter. The two of you sat in the shared warmth of the moment, before you finally took some time to breathe.

“It is so good to see you laughing again, Clyde.” You looked up at his face, his eyes still crinkled at the corners, and smiled. _He’s really handsome when he laughs._ The thought took you by surprise for a moment, but glancing back to his freckled cheeks and full lips, you really did have to admit it to yourself. “I don’t think I’ve seen you laugh that hard since I got back.”

Clyde looked back to you for a moment, smile still caught in the corner of his mouth, before gently gathering his cup and plate to take back to the kitchen.

“I could say the same ‘bout you.”

You barely heard it through the clatter of the dishes in the sink. You turned your coffee cup around in your hands, staring down into its contents. You knew he was right. Last night your parents had called to check in on you; make sure you had gotten in okay. The conversation inevitably turned to the house and how fast you could get rid of it. It ultimately resulted in a headache that had soured your sleep.

You shook yourself out of your reverie as Clyde crossed back into the dining room. He had rolled up his sleeves to rinse the dishes off, and your eyes were drawn to the sleek black metal of his prosthetic. You stood to join him at the second shelf and started helping him place assorted books and treasured baubles away into the nearest box. He was really good at manipulating his metal arm to grasp and hold; it must’ve taken some practice to learn the mechanics. You were honestly impressed with the ease he demonstrated.

Clyde glanced back to you and followed your gaze.

“Second tour in Iraq.”

The books in your arms tumbled to the floor. Clyde turned from the shelf and held your eyes with his own for a moment, before leaning down to pick up the scattered books.

“You joined the army?”

“I did.”

“When..?” It felt as though the air had to fight its way into your lungs.

“A year after high school. Felt like I needed to do somethin’ with my life.” He finished with the books on the floor and turned back to his work on the shelf. You took a breath and found your way back to your body, resuming your work as well.

“I see… I’m… sorry I wasn’t there to send you off. Or welcome you back…” You reached out for the next stack, realizing that your hands were trembling.

“Well, the welcome back wasn’t so fun regardless. More doctor visits than anythin’. Thing is, everyone had taken time off work for the day after it happened. I got caught up in a landmine on the way to the airport. Had to spend a couple weeks in med till I could actually come home.”

“Landmine.”

“Yep. And Jimmy still doesn’t believe we’re cursed,” he grumbled.

“I see…” you said, realizing your voice was shaking now, too. “Hey Clyde? I’ll be right back. I’m just going to use the restroom real quick.”

You bolted from the room before he could respond, speed walking through the hallway to the last door and shut it, taking care not to let it slam.

You rested on the sink for a moment and splashed your face with some water. _Breathe. In and out. Clyde nearly died, and you weren’t there. You could’ve missed the death of_ another _loved one and been none the wiser._ _In and out._ You looked up into the speckled mirror and caught your red rimmed eyes staring back, exhausted. _At least I didn’t wear makeup today. Maybe I should’ve._ With one final breath, you tied your hair back in a ponytail and prepared to head back to the dining room.

You opened the door and nearly walked right into Clyde’s plaid button down. You stepped back quickly and Clyde put down the arm he had raised to knock.

“Sorry to surprise you. Are you alright…?”

You chewed the inside of your lip, still feeling the effects of your previous _moment_ too hard to come up with a solid lie.

“I guess not…” you sighed. Clyde’s eyebrows furrowed. “Something about learning you could’ve died, and I never would’ve known.”

Clyde’s eyes widened and he slowly reached out for your hand. He held your fingers in his for a moment, before giving them a small squeeze and drawing your eyes back up to his.

“ ‘m still here, Sun. I’ve actually been pretty lucky...”

You nodded, squeezing his fingers back, feeling the heat from his hand spread, soothing your worry. Clyde gave you a soft smile and walked you back to the dining room, hand engulfing yours until you arrived at the almost-empty shelf. He released it and you began piling things back into bins alongside him, feeling oddly lighter about the fact that you broke down a little. It was relieving to finally hear Clyde open up and to let yourself feel able to let down as well. But you did miss the warmth of his hand in yours. It had been comforting.

You worked together in silence for a moment, before you decided that open conversation about the arm was probably okay with him.

“Did it take a long time to re-learn with this arm?”

Clyde regarded his left arm for a moment and nodded.

“Yeah I ‘spose it did. Some things can still be tricky.”

You knelt on the floor and taped up the box that you currently finished packing.

“Oh really? Like what?”

“Still have trouble buttoning my shirts...you’d be surprised how hard it is to get each button fastened.”

 _Then don’t wear one,_ your mind supplied. Your movements halted and you stared at the box with wide eyes and a quickly forming heat spreading from your cheeks to the tips of your ears. _What in the actual hell was that..?!_ You cleared your throat and set back to work with vigor.

“Yes, I guess that would be pretty difficult.”

Clyde nodded and knelt down to pick the full box up. “So is tying my shoes.”

“But mixing martinis...?”

“Easy.”

You smirked, watching him carry the heavy box to the pile near the front door without a second thought. _He has always been so capable, left hand or not._

Once all of the surfaces in the dining room had been cleared and packed away, you stood up and stretched your back, hands clasped and reaching above your head as you breathed in deep. Time to move the shelves. Your shoulder popped pleasantly, and you turned to Clyde, hands falling to your hips.

“Ready for the real heavy lifting?”

You raised an eyebrow, noticing that Clyde’s eyes were fixed on you from across the room. A slight tinge on his cheeks. He nodded, walking over to the shelf and readying for the weight. The two of you tipped the shelf over carefully, resting most of the weight on your hands and his right shoulder and arm. Slowly, the two of you walked outside and placed the shelf in the yard near the gate. You repeated the process for the second shelf, without serious injury or maiming.

“Want to take a break? It’s a little stuffy in there and you’re looking a tad warm,” you asked, once the two of you were done.

Clyde nodded. “Sure.”

“Alright. Make yourself comfortable on the porch, and I’ll go make some lemonade.”

You fixed a couple glasses and met Clyde outside in the back. The porch was a little old and needed some attention once the rest of the house had its share. You handed Clyde his glass and sat next to him on one of the dining room chairs he had pulled outside. Even without a neatly tended backyard, this place was beautiful. Wildflowers grew in patches around the yard and the long grass had taken over in varying heights around the lot.

You tipped your head back and sighed, letting your muscles relax and the cool glass chill your hand. The memories of playing outside in this yard were full of scorching sunburns and iced tea. Plots for your next beer heists and revenge pranks for someone poking fun at you or Clyde. At your side, Clyde stretched out his legs and finished off his glass before you even had time to sip at yours.

“Did you want more?” You giggled as he sat his empty glass down on the small side table.

“No thank you, I’m alright.”

You nodded and sat back again, continuing to flip through your memories of the Logan family troublemakers like aging, beloved pages of a book placed high on your grandfather’s shelf.

“Clyde? Do you remember when Cal and Moe found you sitting under the bleachers of the track, reading...oh what was it?”

Clyde raised an eyebrow and turned forward, trying to recall the title.

“Tuck Everlasting! That was it. They kept poking fun at you for days after that. Kept calling it a _sissy_ book.” You scoffed. They had offended you as well, seeing as how you had given it to him after he asked you for recommendations.

“I remember that pretty well now.” Clyde smirked, twinkle hiding within his eyes. “I also seem to recall that their football uniforms wound up bleached. Turned all sorts of colors. They were the only two on the team not wearin' red for the last game of the season.”

“No idea how that happened…but everyone knows that Monroe High’s gym lockers can be picked with hairpins,” you said, taking a good long sip of lemonade.

Clyde shook his head, struggling to wipe the smile off of his face.

“You were a great thief back then.”

“And no one messed with you or the others without proper punishment.” You winked.

Clyde glanced back to you, a crinkle of mischief still squeezed near his eyes, and nodded.

“We always shared our battles.” He responded, hand slowly inching towards yours on the nearby armrest. _Is he trying to hold my hand?_  Your mind supplied, flittering with panic. Clyde’s hand immediately changed course and lifted to his eyes to read his watch.

“I need to start getting ready to open up the bar. Nearing four o’clock,” he mumbled.

“Oh! Right of course. Clyde I can’t thank you enough for all of your help!” You stood quickly. “You did so much and now you’re off to work. Sorry to take up all of your free time…”

You walked him through the house and up to the side of his car parked next to your granddad’s mailbox.

“It’s no trouble, Sun… I… like being here. With you.” He stepped around his car and pulled a wild sunflower from a nearby stalk. He walked over to you slowly, looking unsure for a moment, before slowly raising the flower to your ear and gently tucking it into your hair.

“Just like old times… see you tomorrow? Same time?” he offered, combing his hand back through his thick black hair.

Your breath was caught in your chest and your heart fluttered like a panicked swallow, flapping and twittering for escape. His eyes were reflecting the low, evening sunlight in a sweet amber tone.

“Y..yeah.” you lifted your hand and gently touched the flower, weaving it deeper into your hair to make it stay. Clyde smiled and got into his car, rolling the window down and waving as he pulled out of the dusty driveway. You willed your hand to wave back and quickly stepped back into your grandad’s house. You turned to the mirror in the entryway and examined your reflection once again. The flower made you look twelve years younger, but the blush blooming across your cheeks was a startling new addition. _This can’t be happening..._

 

_____________________________

 

Clyde really thought time would have lessened his feelings for her if he ever saw her again, not that he’d really let himself hope that she’d be back. Mellie and Jimmy had told him that he’d find someone else, even gone as far to set him up with a couple of girls in high school after she’d left. But the fact of the matter was, they hadn’t been Sunny.

So he’d focused on other things in his life. And soon those things turned into other things, that had turned into other things, that had landed him where he was now. Love hadn’t been a big part of his life, and he’d been alright with that. The whole thing had begun to lose its appeal. It hadn’t worked out so well for Jimmy and Bobbie Jo, after all.

Then Sunny walked through the door of his bar and his heart remembered just what the big deal _was_.

The Duck Tape was slow that evening, as was typical for a Sunday night. He stared down at his right palm, reliving how it felt to hold her hand in his. She’d been so distressed. _Something about learning you could’ve died, and I never would’ve known._

She cared that much about him? Her eyes had been red when she opened the door. Had she been crying over him? A hope bloomed in his chest and he felt warm around the edges before he shook his head to clear it of any foolish notions.

It was ridiculous, he knew she didn’t see him that way. They’d known each other for ages. Sunny had even said before she left. _You’re like family to me._ She saw him as kin, and he’d be damned if he did anything to destroy their friendship the instant it had rekindled. He couldn’t lose her again.

He would be happy if she just stayed in his life, whatever form that took. And if he wanted her to remain close to him, he knew he would have to exclusively think of her as his longtime childhood friend.

But as the night wore on, the image of her stayed present in his mind. The way she had laughed, head thrown back, neck exposed. How she’d stretched, back arching...chest lifting. Her face as he’d tucked the flower in her hair, lips parted, eyelashes catching the golden evening light. How badly he had wanted to lean in and -

 _No. You can’t do this,_ he chided, occupying himself with cleaning and clearing the table tops; willing his heart to stop thrumming wildly in his ribcage.

Tomorrow was going to be another long day.

 


	5. The Living Room

Clyde stood next to a stalk of sunflowers growing alongside the front porch of Sunny’s granddad’s house and his fingers twitched.

_ Would it be too much to pick some for her? Probably. Yesterday was a gamble, and betting hasn’t ever worked out in your favor.  _ Clyde took a breath, and redirected his hand toward to door and knocked. There was no response so he tried again, knocking a little louder. Eventually, the sounds of shifting could be heard from behind the door, along with a muffled groan and “just a minute!”

Clyde waited patiently until Sunny fumbled with the lock and opened up the door. The image that greeted him was certainly not the one he had been expecting.

Sunny stood in the threshold, hair in a mussed bun and wearing an oversized t-shirt and little else. She was rubbing her eyes and fighting a yawn down.

_ She’s beautiful… _

“I’m sorry Clyde, haven’t been sleeping well and I totally overdid it this morning. I need to get that alarm working…” She stepped to the side to allow him in and it took longer than he liked to be able to move his feet forward.

“ ‘s no problem…” He mumbled, pointedly avoiding staring at her bare legs and choosing instead to start surveying the living room to the side. This was going to be the goal for the day. Clyde slowly peeked into the room, noting what would be necessary to clean and remove. Another shelf, a table, a worn sofa...wait.

“Sunny...were you sleepin’ on that sofa?” An incredulous tilt ringing in his voice.

Sunny stepped around him to enter the room and shrugged.

“Yeah. Bedroom is the worst of the mess, and the guest room hasn’t actually had a bed in it for awhile. He turned it into a study of sorts.”

“But you can’t sleep on that every night.” Clyde walked up to her makeshift bed and pulled the blanket aside. “It has holes.”

“It’ll do for now! I’m not picky. Besides, it won’t be  _ forever _ , just until we are able to clear out the bedroom.”

Clyde stared down at the sofa, rotting away in corners and shook his head.  _ Well, here goes one more Logan-stupid idea. _

“Sun. Why don’t you stay with Mellie and me for now…? We have a fold out couch.”

Sunny’s eyebrows raised quickly and Clyde feared he had gone too far this time.

“Clyde, you’ve been helping me out far too much lately. I promise this is an okay set up for the time being. I know it looks bad…”

“I think that green spot is  _ mold _ .”

She turned a soft shade of pink and sighed, eyes falling to the floor. “...would it disrupt your schedules at all?”

“Not one bit. Mellie leaves for work early in the mornin’, so she might wake you when she leaves, but we can just head over here after that.”

Sunny looked troubled, lips pursed and eyebrows worried, but eventually she turned back to him and nodded.

“Thank you again, Clyde.”

_ Yeah Clyde. Great idea. You’ll wake up to this every mornin’... _ The thought was meant to chastise, but he couldn’t stop the joy from radiating through his chest.

Sunny grabbed some clothes out of a trunk next to the sofa and went elsewhere to change. Clyde tried and failed to not  _ watch _ as she left the room. Her shirt covered, but just barely. It didn’t even fall to her mid-thigh. He raked a hand through his hair and tugged at it a little, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand.

Clyde prepared some boxes along the floor to pack up more junk, and began planning the course of action they should take. When Sunny arrived she started up the day’s payment in the kitchen, the beautiful smell wafting through the living room as Clyde set to work on removing the tables. It helped motivate him to work harder. When the bacon had been properly burnt, Sunny set it on a small shelf near Clyde and began helping him carry out the furniture. There was a hefty pile accumulating in the front yard. When they finished with the tables and rocking chair, the two decided the tallest shelf would be the next objective.

Clyde made to clear out the top-most shelves, and Sunny the lower. They worked together and made quick work of it and begun tipping it to carry out when something shifted on the very top.

“Oh crud, he stuck something up there…” Sunny grumbled, leaning the shelf back level with the floor.

“I can’t see what it is.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it.” Sunny ran to the dining room and pulled a chair over to the shelf, clambering onto it without a second thought.

“Sun! Don’cha think that’s a little unstable..?” Clyde tensed, coming around to steady her.

“I’ve been on the short side my whole life Clyde, I’m used to finding alternative methods to reaching heights!” She laughed, standing on her tiptoes and patting blindly around the shelf-top.

Clyde hissed as the chair wobbled slightly and immediately put his right arm around her legs, supporting her weight slightly with his shoulder.

“I..it’s alright, Clyde, I almost got it...”

“You’re gonna  _ kill _ yourself.”

He could hear her eye roll, but he remained firm, keeping a tight hold of her. For a split moment, he let his eyes wander over to the soft skin of her thighs beside his cheek. She was wearing those shorts from the flea market. Cut-offs with a rough hem, slightly faded and looking as if the strings would unravel if he just asked nicely. He flinched and forced himself to lower his right hand, placing it below her knee, respectfully.

“A ha! Got it!” She triumphed, and pulled a bundle of fishing rods, bagged up in leather satchel, off the shelf. Clyde released her legs and helped her off the chair, taking it back to the dining room, fitfully aware that he was using that time to refocus his mind.

When he entered the living room again, Sunny was checking the rods and line with a smile bright enough to light the room.

“Look Clyde! I think these were the ones we used to use all the time!”

Clyde walked back and took a fishing rod out of the bag, testing the reel.

“I think you’re right...one of them always stuck when casting.”

“Yeah, whichever one you were using,” she said, flashing a mischievous grin.

Clyde’s breath caught for a second before he huffed out an indignant laugh and returned the rod.

“Now that’s not fair. I still think Jimmy was doin’ somethin’ to the line…”

“Yeah, I’m sure…” She snickered, packing the fishing rods in the hallway closet.

“It’s true! I’m real good at fishin’!”

“You’ll have to prove it, I guess…” She turned and smiled at him, playful and capricious. Clyde couldn’t find it in him to be the slightest bit upset with her teasing, he wanted more of it…

The sharp ring of a cell phone broke the moment between the two of them and reminded Clyde that the boxes among the floor were  _ definitely _ ready to be carried to the front. Sunny set off to find the phone, left somewhere in the kitchen. He finished the stack by the door, contemplating taking them to the thrift shop himself. This stack would require multiple trips, but Sun had already said that she’d take care of it.

Setting the last box on top, Clyde returned to the living room and readied himself to finally move that tall shelf out of the house. He could hear Sunny’s voice carry through the rooms, quickly turning from quietly troubled to distressed. He struggled between ignoring the conversation outright and heading to the kitchen to see if she needed help. Finally, Clyde opted for eavesdropping. His previous experience from the old days with Jimmy coming back into play, much to his irritation.

“I got this Mom, really….it’s a  _ huge _ house; it’s going to take some time!” Clyde could hear her pacing around the kitchen island. “No. No I don’t know...Okay. Yes. I love you too.” There was a heavy groan and the sound of steps carrying back towards the living room. Clyde straightened and stood closer to the shelf quickly before she entered the room again.

“Everything alright, Sun?”

“Oh… yeah, you know. Parent things…” She shrugged and stifled a yawn, rounding over to the opposite side of the shelf and shaking out her arms; clearly redirecting the both of them to the task at hand.

“Right…” Clyde didn’t push, knowing that things would probably always be tense between Sunny’s parent’s and this house. He leaned the shelf over and the two of them maneuvered it outside with practiced ease.

“Yes! No wall damage at all!” Sunny giggled, mood clearing quickly. “High five!”

Clyde smirked and held up his right hand for a hard smack from her own.

“Other one now!” She grinned, holding up her left hand. Clyde raised his eyebrow, but held up his prosthetic hand for a slightly softer smack.

“Woo! Time for a break!” she cheered, jogging inside and turning for the kitchen.

Clyde glanced down at his left hand for a moment, small smile turning up the side of his lips and followed her inside.

Sunny emerged from the kitchen with two beers in hand and plopped on the sofa next to Clyde, who had already made himself comfortable.

“Sorry, I know you’re going to head over to the bar later and could probably have a better beer there, but I am out of lemonade and this is what I have for now.” She said, kicking off her shoes and sliding the beer over.

“No matter, this is fine.” Clyde popped the cap off and stretched out his legs. The room was much larger now that the mismatched coffee table was awaiting its new home in the front lawn. Sunny pulled up her legs onto the sofa and settled next to the armrest, feet pointing towards his legs. Her cell phone dropped out of her back pocket as she attempted to arrange herself comfortably.

“I’m getting rid of this thing. I feel like one day I’ll just end up breaking it…” she grumbled, placing it on the one small side table they decided to keep.

“You sound like Jimmy…”

“I know. I just feel weird having something so pricey and delicate with me at all times… besides, no one calls but my parents and I could use less of those conversations at the moment.” She sighed, pulling her hair out of her bun and letting it flow down to her shoulders.  She looked like a painting; relaxed and comfortable on an ancient sofa, beverage in hand. Clyde looked back to his beer, the question he was needing to ask sitting just on the tip of his tongue.

“What are you thinking about..?” Sunny asked, breaking him out of his daze.

“Hm?”

“You look… like you need to say something? Your brows are all furrowed.” She smiled softly, and put her fingers to her forehead to imitate his stern expression.

Clyde smirked, but glanced back to the phone.

“I’m sure you were busy, Sun… but… why didn’t you ever call?”

Sunny’s eyes widened and she dropped her hands. Her eyes flickered to her phone, and back to her own hands, picking at the hem of those… shorts.

“...I wasn’t allowed to.”

Clyde nodded slowly. “Your parents?”

“Yeah. They actually took away my phone for a few years. Till I made friends over there. They gave me a new one in college, but at that point I had forgotten your phone numbers. They really  _ hated _ my granddad. He cut them off of his bank account and they fought so hard I don’t think they ever will forgive him. They knew how much I loved him and they didn’t want me to find a way to connect with him again…” She leaned over and picked her phone off of the table once more. “This one here I actually bought myself. It’s on my own plan, so it is one hundred percent mine.”

She held it out to Clyde, expression hopeful. “Can I have your number?”

Clyde set his beer down on the floor and took the phone from her hand. Emotions churning in his stomach.  _ She didn’t forget about you. She wanted to stay connected. _

“Well, since you asked so nicely…”

She giggled again, and it sounded like heaven. He handed the phone back to her and she smiled, putting it away once more. Returning her legs back to the sofa, she stretched and suppressed another yawn.

“Tired?”

“Sleepy… and don’t you say I told you so,” she murmured, settling her head on the back of the sofa. Her eyelids grew heavy and her body curled in a pitiful attempt to fight the sleep off. It was a losing battle, and her beer was going down with her. Clyde smirked and took the beer from her hand, placing it back on the table. She didn’t stir. Clyde took a quick glance at his watch.  _ Enough time for a nap before work. _ He leaned his own head back against the sofa and let his legs stretch further on the floor in front.  _ Just a quick nap… _

 

Clyde woke to the distinct sensation of something tickling his nose. He opened his eyelids slowly, sleep clinging and weighing them down, room slowly swimming into focus. The afternoon sun had crept across the living room rug and was now illuminating the room with reflected orange tones, which he was viewing at an angle. His head was resting against something silky that smelled vaguely of shampoo and applewood, which, incidentally, was what had caused him to stir. He sluggishly raised his head from his odd pillow, nap-addled brain taking a moment to fully comprehend what he was resting on. And once he had, he was thoroughly convinced he was dreaming.

Sunny had migrated from her previous spot on the sofa to his side, managing to curl into him as he slept. Her head had nestled into his shoulder and his arm rested on the sofa back. She looked so small, tucked into his side. Her hair clung to his cheek and he carefully weaved it back behind her ear. Her eyelashes fluttered lightly, but she didn’t wake. Gently, Clyde lowered his resting arm, the left, and placed it around her shoulders. The action pulled her closer, and she responded beautifully, sighing softly and tucking her face closer to his flannel. Clyde closed his eyes, willing his heart to quiet so it wouldn't wake her. Wouldn't disturb this one perfect moment. Even in a house that wasn’t his, surrounded by things he didn’t own, having her in his arms felt like home.

But this wasn’t his moment to keep, and Clyde reluctantly began to withdraw, feeling her missing warmth like a gaping hole at his side. Clyde turned and checked his watch quickly, knowing he was already running a little late. The regulars would be annoyed. Clyde placed a hand gently underneath Sunny’s head, and guided her down until she was laying on the sofa. He covered her with the blanket she must’ve used during the night and pulled it to just above her shoulders, tucking her in. Clyde stood and readied himself to depart, barely remembering to leave her the keys to the house he shared with Mellie. He wrote a quick note for her, leaving it under her unfinished beer, keys resting alongside.

Taking one last look at the peaceful expression on her face, Clyde steeled himself and left her grandfather’s house, making the way to his car in a hurry.

_ Regulars are waiting... _ he thought, lying to himself; knowing his rush had more to do with fighting the monumental urge to stay.

 

_____________________________

  
  


You started awake at the sound of the front door closing, eyes slow to take in your surroundings. The blanket slipped off your shoulders and you looked down, realizing you fell asleep on the couch. You stretched and pulled yourself up into a sitting position. The space on the sofa directly in front of you was still so warm, and you frowned.

_ Clyde... _ You looked around, and checked the old clock on the wall. Quarter past four. He must be on his way to work.  _ He’ll be running late. _

You stood and folded the blanket, placing it back on the sofa armrest. You padded your way barefoot down the hall for the kitchen, stopping quickly to take in your reflection in the hallway mirror. You leaned in close, noticing there were multiple pink lines transversing your cheeks and neck.

“What the…?” you lifted your hand to trace the lines, realizing you must’ve fallen asleep on wrinkled fabric.

_ But the sofa is velour…  _ You began to turn scarlet.

_ I fell asleep on Clyde, didn’t I…? _ You groaned and pushed the heels of your palm to your forehead to help alleviate the embarrassment.

_ What is going on with me? When did I start to feel like this…? I can’t fall for him. I’ll...be leaving again… _

You pushed down the growing panic, and turned back to the living room to clean. You needed to do something. Anything to take your mind off of him. You started to rearrange some of the smaller pieces of furniture left in the room, turning when you noticed the small note trapped under your bottle of warm beer. You lifted it up, unable to fight the smile when you saw his familiar script.

 

“Sun,

Here are the keys. Make yourself at home. 459 Western Rd. We’ve got sunflowers out front, too.

\- Clyde”

  
You folded up the note and placed it and the keys in your pocket for safe keeping. Trying not to feel anything but grateful.  _ Trying and failing. _


	6. The Backyard

You woke again to the sound of a door but this time it was opening, keys rattling softly in the lock. Mellie had set you up in the living room, and the pull-out couch had been a damn sight more comfortable than your grandfather’s old - admittingly rotting and probably structurally unsound - sofa. You had fallen asleep the instant your head hit the pillow despite the nap you’d had earlier in the day.

The door creaked as it opened slowly, a hulking shadow on the other side doing its best to ease into the room. He attempted a sidestep around the bed, the room smaller than usual with the main space taken up. A table clock went tumbling to the floor and you heard whispered swears under breath.

You decided to take pity on him. “Hey, Clyde.”

He exhaled. “Shoot. Sorry, Sun. Didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, keeping his voice low.

“No worries,” you whispered. “Just a second, stay there before you trip over my bag.” You reached over to the nearby table lamp and switched it on, light flooding the room.

Clyde stood near the door, eyes squinted as he adjusted to the sudden onslaught of light. You stood to move your overnight bag out of his path and sat back down criss-cross on the bed. Clyde put his keys down on the side table and headed to the kitchen. When he emerged, he was carrying two bottles of beer in his hand. He held them up and gestured for you to follow. You raised an eyebrow, but followed him through the small house, careful not to make too much sound. He opened up the back door and motioned for you to take a seat on a lawn chair settled over the small back yard.

You sat, feeling a little silly outside in an old sleep shirt and no shoes, but Clyde didn’t seem to mind. You took the beer from his offered hand, as he sat next to you.

“Hope I’m not disturbing your sleep too much. Noticed you didn’t get to finish yours earlier,” he whispered.

“Not at all, this is really nice. The last one got flat when I slept,” you replied, suddenly remembering falling asleep on Clyde’s shirt. You were glad it was too dark to see the embarrassment coloring your face. Clyde nodded, and took a small sip.

“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to fall asleep…” You looked out at the surrounding trees nervously, checking to your side to see if you could pick a reaction from Clyde’s face. Something to let you know what he had thought about that accident.

“ ‘s alright. Reminded me of when we had sleepovers out in your yard actually.”

_ That was unexpected.  _ “How so?” you asked, tucking your feet up onto the chair, under you.

“When we’d sleep outside, I always fell asleep first, but that meant that I’d wake first too. Your grandad made bacon every mornin’. I’d pick some off the plate he’d leave outside, and sit back on my sleeping bag ‘till you all woke up.”

You giggled quietly, playing with the strands of hair that came loose out of your bun.

“Would you wait long?”

“No, Mellie or Jimmy would be up soon after.”

“But not me…”

“No. You liked to sleep. Guess you were always dreamin’.” He smiled wistfully, looking out to the grass.  You finished off your beer quickly and placed the bottle on the ground. The air was warm, and the thick breeze passed through Clyde’s hair, displacing his waves near his eyes. You fought the urge to tuck them back behind his ear. To run your hand down his cheek to his full lips. There was no one in town who looked like Clyde, and you loved that about him.  _ Wait. Loved…? _

You rubbed at your eyes to try and refocus your mind once again. These interruptions have started to become more commonplace, and you shouldn’t let them continue as such.

“Ya tired?”

You turned to Clyde and nodded, even though you’d love nothing more than to stay here, outside in the warm West Virginian breeze with him. The two of you snuck back inside, stopping outside his bedroom door. He entered the room, kicking off his shoes with ease. You were about to wish him a good night, when you realized his right hand was reaching for his prosthetic. He started running a finger under the cloth sleeve of the arm, readying to ease the metal off his skin. You watched, unsure if you were meant to, but curiosity won out once more. Clyde turned then, catching your eyes and holding the moment. He dropped his right hand from his left and slowly walked back to the door frame, eyes falling to his feet and strands of hair slightly obscuring his expression.

“ ‘m sorry, I forgot to tell you good night. Sleep well, Sun.”

It wasn’t a suggestion. You took a breath and schooled your face into something neutral.

“Good night, Clyde. Thank you for having me over.” You gave him a quick smile, and turned back to your bed for the night. Crawling back under the thin sheets, you attempted to settle your turning mind. He didn’t want to take off his prosthetic arm in front of you, for whatever reason.  _ It is his own business.  _ You scolded yourself, and you shouldn’t be peeking without permission. Still, you hoped one day you could prove to him that you were someone he could trust. Just like you used to be when you were young.

 

_____________________________

  
  


You picked up the phone on the second ring.

“Hi Dad.”  _ It’s only six in the morning… _ “Are you aware that it’s 3 hours earlier on this coast…?”

Your father’s voice rang through clearly. You had better service here than at your grandad’s home.  _ “Yes, sorry, we know it’s early. We just wanted to see how you’re doing. The plants have been watered and I got your mail. You have some letters here from your work you know.” _

“Yes, I’m sure. But they know I won’t be returning until the next semester begins. Just leave them until I can read them myself.”

_ “Honey. It’s work. It’s important to address these soon.” _ His voice was urgent, and you prickled a little at that.  _ And here we go… _

“Dad, I know you want me to come home soon but work knows I am out for a while. The letters can wait.”

_ “You need to finish up there. It’s a small town; the house will sell quickly. You don’t even really need to be there for that process.” _

“Dad. I am taking care of it. And thank you for taking care of my place. I’ll talk to you two soon.” You pressed the hang up button extra hard, but touch screens never really gave the same feedback a hard slam would. Pity.

Mellie turned the corner to the living room, looking every bit as put together as she always did. Even at six in the morning.

“That sounded interesting…”

You stood and started fixing the sheets on the pull-out bed.

“They are never boring.”

“When do they expect you back?”

You flung the sheets over the mattress with extra force.

“If they had it their way, I’d already be on the next flight home.”

Mellie watched you carefully, her eyebrow arched and lips pursed.

“When  _ will _ you be leaving.”

You stopped at that, turning to face her.  _ I don’t know. I don’t ever want to leave. I’d miss it here...I’d miss… _

Clyde stepped into the room, bleary and running a hand through exceptionally mussed hair. You noticed he had taken the time to put on his prosthetic, though he was still sporting his old shorts and a Bob Seger t-shirt.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled.

“Well, mornin’ sunshine,” Mellie said, demeanor shifting. “You’re up early. I don’t remember the last time I saw you before I went to work.”

Clyde shuffled into the kitchen, nonplussed. You heard the fridge open as he began rifling through it, turning back to see Mellie fixing you with a searching look.

“What…?” you asked, shrinking back a little.

She was silent for a moment before shaking her head. “Nothin’, hun. I gotta get goin’. Have a good day, alright?”

“You too, Mellie.”

She gathered her purse and keys, pausing at the door. “Clyde? Jimmy and Sadie will be stoppin’ by in a bit. Sadie needs to use the tent for her Girl Scouts trip this weekend.”

Clyde made some sort of noise of affirmation from the other room. You joined him in the kitchen, making yourself a cup of coffee and taking a seat at the small table.

“Sleep well?” Clyde yawned, taking a seat across from you.

“Yes. And  _ now _ you can say I told you so…” You sighed, breathing in the steam from your cup.

Clyde smirked, but refrained from gloating. “Do you usually wake up this early?”

“No...got an early wake up call this morning.”

Clyde’s eyes darkened, but he finished up the bowl of cereal he had made for himself. You knew he understood what you meant and you chose instead to focus on your coffee.

“Have they been calling often?”

“About once a day.”

Clyde set his spoon down. “Just to see how the weather is?”

A struggle roiled in the pit of your stomach.  _ You’ll have to tell him. He needs to know you’re going to leave. People are expecting me to…  _ You pushed your coffee away and stood to get dressed.

“Sun… are you alright?”

“Yeah… I’m alright Clyde. Just going to get dressed real quick.” You spared him a quick smile, and left to go grab your overnight bag. From inside the bathroom, you heard the front door open and Jimmy’s voice call around for Clyde. You got ready quickly and met the two… no, make that  _ three _ , of them in the kitchen.

Jimmy and Clyde were caught in a conversation about tents and camping, but your attention was drawn to the third person in the room. Your previous spot across from Clyde was currently occupied by a small girl with bright blonde hair, and even brighter blue eyes.

“Who are you?” she asked with the authority and curiosity you wished you could muster at that age.

“Hi, I’m Sunny.” You grinned, trying so very hard to keep your enthusiasm in check.  _ This must be Jimmy’s daughter. _ You extended your hand out the shake, and she shook it back it vigor.

“Hey Sun! Mornin’! This is my daughter, Sadie,” Jimmy explained, coming around to squeeze the girl’s shoulders.

“It’s nice to meet you Sadie! You have very lovely eyes!” You beamed. She looked like a much younger, prettier version of Jimmy. Before he bulked up for high school.

“Thanks. They won me three beauty pageants.”

“Well I can definitely see why!”

“But I’m smart too. Aunt Mellie says I should be both to be a proper lady.” You stifled a full bodied laugh and nodded your head sagely.

“Your Aunt Mellie is a true lady, herself.” Sadie nodded back and resumed eating breakfast. You turned to Jimmy and bit back your laughter.

“Jimmy, she’s an absolute delight,” you whispered, letting a small giggle escape.

“Yeah, she’s my life.” Jimmy grinned, ruffling Sadie’s hair.

“I can’t believe she’s so big. When you said you had a daughter, I thought you meant a baby...”

“Nah, this one is already nine years old.” He laughed.

“I wish I could’ve been there…” You sighed. His daughter clearly had all of the fire in her soul that Jimmy did at that age.

“Well, if you’d like, we’re goin’ camping this weekend. You could spend some time with us at the Pine Ridge Lake.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun!” you said, suddenly excited. You hadn’t been camping since you left, and the mountains were calling your name.

Jimmy beamed. “Perfect. We’re having a little bit of a hard time gettin’ ready for Girl Scout sleepovers. I’ll tell you ‘bout it later.” Jimmy quietly gestured towards Sadie, and you wondered how such a spark of a girl could have trouble taking on any challenge.

“We’re leavin’ tomorrow at seven. Clyde, how ‘bout you?”

Clyde’s eyebrows raised and he regarded Jimmy through his hair. “I got the bar, Jimmy. You know that.”

Jimmy waved the excuse away. “And you know you haven’t taken a day off since you opened it. Or since… well, you know. Come camping with us.”

“Won’t you come, Clyde?” you asked. You hoped he would say yes, some of the best times you had in West Virginia were when the four of you went camping. “Maybe we can convince Mellie, too. Then it’ll be just like how we used to. But now we’ll have a new addition to our group.”

You winked at Sadie, hoping she would help convince him.

Sadie looked uncertain. “I don’t know… They ain’t got no lights in the woods. And all we got are those dinky flashlights. How we supposed to see if we need to tinkle after the sun goes down?”

You paused, thoughtful. “Well you know, Sadie, I think I might’ve found just what you need… Clyde, do you remember what we did with that high-powered lantern my gramps had stashed under the piano?”

Clyde nodded. “It’s in the closet, now.”

“You see, we’ll definitely have enough light. I’ll make sure to get new batteries and everything! We can even bring extra.” Sadie shifted in her seat, unsure but seemingly more convinced.

“Alright… only if Uncle Clyde comes too. There could be bears.”

“Sadie, there won’t be no bears. Even if there were, I could take care of ‘em!” Jimmy groused.

“Uncle Clyde is taller.”

If the thought of Clyde wrestling a wild bear didn’t have you doubled over in laughter, that last line really did it. You decided then that you  _ really _ liked Sadie.

“You heard her, Clyde. Sadie won’t go if you don’t come to protect her from  _ bears _ ,” Jimmy grumbled. Clyde looked from Jimmy to you with that deadpan expression that you’d seen settled on his face since teenage-hood. Still shaking off the last bits of your laughter, you elbowed Clyde softly in the side.

“Come on Clyde. Bears,” you said. Clyde gave you a withering look.

“You know, with our luck, we might actually run into a…” Jimmy fixed Clyde with a surprisingly intimidating look and silenced him from making a bigger mess. Sadie tilted her head and Clyde sighed.

“...Alright, I’ll go. But  _ you _ tell the regulars that there won’t be no alcohol this weekend,” Clyde said, regarding Jimmy with a tired expression. You hopped lightly on your toes, excitement bursting at the seams.

“This is going to be so fun. I’m going to get makings for smores!” you announced, mentally clearing out your day for shopping and packing. “I’ll go get my things ready, I have a lot of stuff to find! Would you mind if I borrowed a sleeping bag?” You knew you were talking quickly, but you couldn’t help it. You hadn’t had fun like this since you left.

“No need to ask,” Clyde answered, walking over to the hallway closet and lifting a spare from the top shelf.

“Thank you, Clyde! I’m going to go shopping now, so if you need anything for the trip, send me a text!” You grabbed your bag and wallet and left to the store in a hurry.

 

_____________________________

  
  


“You know…” Jimmy said, “We have two tents. If you two wanted to share one…” 

“Jimmy. Shut up.”


	7. The Lake

“Daddy, can I choose the music?”

The trees whipped past, and the chill morning air was clouded over with fog. You noted that Sadie never waited for an answer before switching through the radio stations.

“Sadie-bird, keep the music low. Your uncle Clyde is still sleepin’,” Jimmy whispered, keeping the car steady. You turned back to Clyde, sitting next to you with his head tilted all the way back on the headrest. His mouth had fallen open a little, and with every exhale, a sound too small to be called a true snore escaped his lips. You had shared a laugh with Mellie when he first fell asleep, but now you had to direct your attention to the woods outside the window. The urge to slide  _ just _ a little closer to him and fall asleep tucked in his arms was a bit too enticing.  _ This might not have been the best idea… _ You turned back to the forest. Clips of static and music shuffled through the car, but even without a steady song, you were content.

Your body had breathed this air for too long as a child. It had changed you from the inside, and leaving it behind had left an ache that was finally beginning to soothe over. Sadie shuffled around in the glove box for a moment, before pulling a CD.  _ Unsatisfactory radio signal here in the woods,  _ you thought with a smile. The John Denver song that framed your younger years softly filled the silence of the car and settled in your mind like an old friend. Sadie began to sing quietly in the front seat and you glanced over at Mellie, wide eyed and beaming.

Mellie winked back and whispered, “She’s Jimmy’s, alright.”

You nodded and sat back in your seat, feeling more at home than you’ve felt in years, right here in the back of this car.

Upon arrival, unpacking was efficient and surprisingly fast. Sadie insisted on helping with the tents, making sure the structure was sound and what not. You were tasked with helping her, though her Girl Scout training, or her father, had given her all the tools she needed. To your amusement, you mostly got in the way. You went back to the car and helped the others unload all of the gear, and within the hour everything was set up for the weekend.

When everything was complete, everyone took a vote on what outdoorsy activity to undertake first. Fishing won out by the vast majority, spearheaded by Sadie. Clyde grabbed the fishing poles and you carried the bait box down to the water, followed by the others towing the heavy cooler. You set up Sadie’s bait and watched her for a little while.

“Wow, Sadie. You’re a natural at casting! Better than your Uncle Clyde by a long shot.”

Clyde, standing by your side, huffed audibly and began rifling through the bag of rods. When he had finally settled on one, turning the reel this way and that, you took the hook and baited it, glancing up as you worked. Clyde watched you with such a warm expression it rooted you to the spot.

_ How can such a tall, strong man look so gentle? _

He was unguarded out here, and you felt yourself scrambling to keep your own walls standing.  _ You’re his friend. He’s your friend… to him, you’re just that kid that needed protecting… _

Finishing up, you gently released the hook and stood to the side of the lake, watching as Clyde shook out his right arm. He stood between you and Sadie, and shot you a challenging smirk before pulling the rod behind and casting his line out so far across the lake, you’d swear it would’ve hit the other side. You bit your smile down and refused to look at what you knew would be the worst “I told you so” face you’d ever seen.

“Uncle, that was amazin’!” Sadie squeaked, and stood to get a better look. You rolled your eyes and prepared to face the music, turning back to Clyde with your hands on your hips.

“Okay. So maybe Jimmy  _ was _ doing something with the line,” you grumbled.

Clyde gave you the cheeky side grin you knew you deserved, and handed the pole back to you, lifting an eyebrow.

“Clyde Logan, are you challenging me…?” You laughed, shocked, amused and ready to fight.

“Lets see what those years out west have done to ya, Sun.” He grinned. You could hear Jimmy whooping behind you. You took the pole from his hands and reeled in the line, hating how long it took you to do so. Not bothering to bait the hook, you reached behind and cast out the line as hard as you could swing. To your own pride, the time spent away from lakes and mountains did not hinder your ability to cast, but even so, Clyde was the clear winner. You groaned and handed the rod back, fixing him with a stern pout.

“Fine, you win. But I will get better, just you wait,” you grumped, waiting for the snarky comment back. It never came.

Instead, Clyde closed your fingers back around the fishing rod and stood directly behind you. His breath fluttered around your hair, causing your skin to sing and prickle. He lay his arm along yours, heat burning through his rolled sleeves. You focused on your breath, trying to bring it back to an even rhythm, but Clyde spoke next to your ear and your body betrayed every calming order your mind could stammer out.

“Keep your wrist curved when you cast. Use the curve to give it more force.” He instructed, moving your arm back and forth in practice. You nodded quickly and he removed himself from your side. Your body ached to have him near again, but appreciated the chance to inhale once more. You cast the line out a couple more times, trying his way until it felt slightly more natural, and used the time to force the redness off of your face.

“Looking good!” Jimmy grinned, taking a seat next to Sadie and setting up his own pole.

“Yeah yeah, I’m still better than you,” you mumbled, and retrieved some snacks out of the cooler.

The day was spent lounging near the lake. Jimmy brought chairs down for everyone after a while, and two fish, small enough to fit into one of Sadie’s shoes, were caught. Jimmy had caught both, swearing that they’d be much bigger than they were when they surfaced. The teasing had been giddy and relentless. You hardly noticed when the light started to shift, and the searing temperatures lowered back into a welcome chill.

“I think it’s time for s'mores,” Mellie announced after the sun had dipped below the hills.

“Agreed. I haven’t actually had one in around twelve years…” You sighed dreamily.

“That should be illegal,” Sadie exclaimed with a tight wrinkle on her nose, and you really couldn’t agree more. The five of you packed up your lakeside equipment and lugged it back to the campsite. Jimmy started up the fire while you and Clyde went back to the car and unloaded all of the roastable food items. Marshmallows, chocolate, bread, hot dogs...You knew you had probably bought a little too much, but it was worth it to have so many options.

The two of you returned and helped Mellie set up chairs around the fire. Everything was set and you plopped into one of the folding chairs next to Mellie, spearing a marshmallow and torching it quickly.

“You’re doin’ it wrong.” Clyde smirked, watching you leave the marshmallow swallowed in flames, incinerating the sides to a crusted black.

“You can’t talk. You take your bacon the same way.” You shot back, blowing the fire out and assembling your treat.

Jimmy slapped his knee and laughed. “She got you there, man.”

“Except bacon should be crispy, and marshmallows should be toasted evenly so that-”

“No uncle! Crispy bacon is gross.”

“You’re outnumbered, Clyde. Best to give up early.” Mellie grinned, turning her marshmallow carefully over the fire. Clyde let out a light chuckle, and the soft, rich sound warmed you to your bones.  _ If it could be like this every day… _

The five of you shared stories with Sadie about previous camping trips taken together as kids. The trouble you four had run into, and how Jimmy had once set up a tent in the pouring rain, only to have it collapse with water weight. How you had caught a fish in the most shocking shade of orange once, and immediately dropped it back into the water, rendering it a myth. Sadie listened with rapt attention to your stories until her eyes grew heavy and Jimmy carried her into one of the two tents to tuck her into bed.

When he returned he settled into his chair and stifled a yawn, pulling a beer out of the cooler and setting it at his feet.

“Thank you guys for comin’. Sadie has been havin’ a little trouble with the dark lately. Wanted to take her campin’ with family before she had to do it with a bunch of girls she didn’t know too good.”

“Oh, I thought somethin’ was up when she wouldn’t stop talking in the car about needing to pee in the dark woods.” Mellie nodded, finishing up her own bottle.

“Yeah, she’ll be okay. She’ll have fun even, I just wanted to give her a practice before I sent her alone with them. Plus, Sunny here hasn’t had a smore in twelve years.” Jimmy snickered.

“Hey! I didn’t go camping much out there.” You shrugged.

“Did you do anything at all?” Mellie questioned, adding one more dry stick to the flame.

“I did stuff. Just not anything as nice as this…” you admitted, wiping marshmallow fluff on your shorts. “I stayed at school a lot. Became a teaching assistant at the University for a little, which is how I got into teaching from that point on.”

“So are you off for the summer…?” Jimmy asked, raising the bottle to his lips.

“I…”

“Daddy!” Sadie’s voice rung out, and Jimmy hopped up from his chair. “Daddy, it’s too dark and I need to go…!”

Jimmy chuckled and headed for the tent. “Sorry guys, nature calls.”

Mellie rose and put her bottle in the bag you were using as a makeshift trash can.

“Think I’m hittin’ the sack. ‘Night guys.”

You nodded, feeling the long car ride slowing your own body as well.

“Think I’ll join you, Mel,” you responded, and caught Clyde’s eye as you started to turn toward the tent you, Mellie and Sadie would share. He looked lost in thought.

“Good night, Clyde. See you in the morning.” You smiled. He broke out of his reverie, and nodded back to you.

“Sweet dreams, Sunny… I’ll see you in the mornin’.” You turned quickly for your tent, dreaming of hearing those words whispered in your ear every night.

 

_____________________________

  
  


“....llie. Aunt Mellie. Aunt Mellie, wake up. It’s mornin’!” Sadie’s shrill voice permeated the soft cocoon of your sleeping bag like a drill to your eardrum. You groaned and buried your head deeper, trying to shut out the noise. Sadie was clearly excited about making it through the night without a single bear attack. You could hear Mellie starting to shift about.

“...Sadie, darlin’. You should consider a career in the auction house. You certainly know how to project,” Mellie said dryly, voice hoarse from sleep.

“I’ll consider it if my chef career falls through,” Sadie said primly. “Can we go wake daddy? He said we could make breakfast together.”

“Alright, alright. Quit pokin’ me, I’m gettin’ up.”

The bustle of Mellie and Sadie getting ready made it impossible to go back to sleep, so you opted to share the early morning with the girls. The three of you emerged from your tent and searched around for breakfast ingredients. Mellie offered to start up the fire, and you took Sadie to the guys’ tent, tapping on the door flap.

“Morning guys, it’s time to start making food. Get decent!” A couple groans were heard, along with some slow shuffling about.

“Jimmy, Sadie wants to come in,” you called, just before she unzipped the tent in a hurry and crawled in. Jimmy had slept in his clothes and was on his way out, but Clyde was still in the middle of changing, slipping a shirt over his broad chest. He covered up quickly, but you knew you had seen enough to turn your cheeks red for the next week. You turned back to Mellie, who had watched the entire exchange with a lifted brow, and started helping her set up the fire, appreciating the distraction.

“All right, Sadie-bird. What we makin’?”

“I want to poach the eggs, daddy. It adds finesse.”

“I didn’t know you could hunt eggs.”

“No, daddy! Not that kind of poaching...”

“You want me to herd them while you grab a net or somethin’?”

“Daddy…!”

Sadie and Jimmy quickly whipped up some eggs and toast over the fire, and you all took a moment to decide what you all wanted to do for the day. Jimmy suggested fishing again, but Sadie complained that it had been too hot yesterday, and the waiting had been a nuisance.

“I wanna go swimmin’,” Sadie declared. You rubbed your forehead and groaned. You knew you would forget something.

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit, Sadie…” you said, guilty for shooting down her idea. Sadie’s brow crinkled, but she nodded in understanding. You were weak to it. Even when you were back west teaching, a child’s disappointment was one thing you could never live with.

“I would be happy to keep practicing my fishing though, while you all swim!”

“Sun, you don’t have to worry. We can hike or match leaves. Whatever those Girl Scouts are learnin’ about these days.” Jimmy placated.

“Yeah, I didn’t bring swim trunks either,” Clyde added.

“How do you two come to a lake and not bring swimsuits?” Mellie scolded as she worked to set the fire out.

“Didn’t think about it. But I really am happy to fish some more while you three swim!”

“Clyde?” Jimmy asked.

“I never planned on this trip to begin with, so whatever we do, we do,” Clyde responded, waving a hand. Sadie started bouncing in her folding chair.

“Yes! Let’s go swimming!”

You brought your chair from the fire over to the side of the lake and set up similar to yesterday. Sadie had wasted no time changing into her swimsuit and running straight into the water, followed by Jimmy, who was slightly less enthusiastic about the brisk temperature. Mellie had gone through the trouble of changing into her swimsuit as well, but opted for laying a towel out and lounging in the sun. You stood a fair distance away from the swimmers, and cast your line, just like Clyde had showed you how to do. It never really went much farther, but it was more graceful than you had managed yesterday.

“You’re gettin’ the hang of that.”

“Technically yes, but I’m still working on it.”

“For twelve years out, it’s real good.” Clyde cast his own line, hook landing at a similar distance to yours.  _ Guess the showing off was used up yesterday,  _ you smiled. Clyde sat on the folding chair near yours and you followed, settling your rod under your chair.

“...did you really not camp or hike out West…? I know there are real nice places.” Clyde asked, eyes surveying you carefully.

“Honestly no. The people I met there were all studious types. We were on campus a lot. Can’t really fish in the pond over there.” You chuckled humorlessly.

“The people you met… did you ever…” Clyde’s eyes narrowed and flicked back to the lake. You waited patiently for him to finish, confused. Clyde shrugged his shoulders and turned back to you. “Did you ever date anyone?”

Your mind shot back to the conversation at the bar, when you had spit up the lager all over the counter. A very proud moment, to be sure. You had never really elaborated on it, but guys just hadn’t been a priority.

“Well, I went on a date with one of the guys from my first psychology class. But it was really only because he had asked. The date itself was alright, but I just wasn’t very interested in him I guess.” That guy had been the definition of boring. He had talked about his outstanding grades for a good two hours, then asked if you wanted to go home and  _ study _ together. You had paid the check and called an Uber within five minutes of the question.

“How about you, Clyde?”  _ Since we’re getting personal here. _ You smirked, but something shifted in your stomach the moment the words had formed.  _ Do I want to know the answer to this…? _

Clyde shrugged and took a sip of instant coffee. “I saw a couple ladies briefly before my tours.”

_ Curious…  _ You thought. “But no one after?”

Clyde shook his head. “Not really a thought of mine, after.” You could feel the wrinkles in your forehead deepen.  _ If this is because of the arm…  _ Clyde glanced over to you and raised an eyebrow. You knew you shouldn’t be asking hard questions, but you felt a strong pull to know the truth.  _ Is it the arm, is he just not interested, did someone say something..? _

“Why?” Your voice was loaded with false casualness. You could hear it and you were certain he could as well. Clyde continued to stare at you, eyes searching your face and you met his scrutiny with a horribly constructed mask of indifference. The cracks were there, and you prayed that his eyes passed over them quickly.

“That was about the time Jimmy got divorced.” He finally answered, mercifully turning his prying eyes away. “Hard to watch a marriage break down like his did.” You nodded and let the knot in your stomach ease slightly. Clyde’s face was still clouded over, expression troubled and thoughtful.  _ Something else… _

“I also… well, my priorities in life changed. Gettin’ the bar set up. Learning to do things with just the one hand...” He gestured to his left hand, which was holding onto his mug as easily as if he were gripping it with his right.

“I see…” You finally responded, taking a sip of your own lukewarm coffee.  _ Guess we’ve been a couple of loners. _ “Well what about now?”

Clyde’s eyes shot back to you, confusion written clear across his face.

“I mean, the bar is set up. You’re doing amazing with your left hand, as natural as any hand could be. Ever think of starting up the search again?”  _ Why am I doing this to myself? I don’t want to know this. I’ll leave and he’ll find some beautiful woman who will stay… _ Clyde was fixing you with an unreadable stare. His eyes were reaching right into you, like he could see your thoughts but couldn’t decipher them. Confused, intense...beautiful. He really was beautiful. You needed to turn away, but breaking your gaze would feel like an admission of a truth you weren’t even ready to admit to yourself…

“Guys! Time to eat!” Jimmy’s booming voice rang across the water and you nearly jumped out of your skin. Your heart was hammering in your chest, but you sprang up and started walking towards the other three quickly, leaving Clyde to stare after you.

The sun passed overhead with many questions unanswered.  _ What was Clyde going to say if we hadn’t been interrupted? What would you do if Clyde started dating someone? Are you allowed to have an opinion on that? How can one nine year old girl swim for ten hours straight? _ It was a long day, mostly filled with the sounds of Sadie splashing about and Jimmy making everyone more food than they could handle. You were disappointed that you hadn't thought to bring a swimsuit along. Watching Sadie reluctantly heading back to the tent to change into her pajamas made you long for the distraction swimming would’ve provided. You could float along the surface of the water, staring up at the clouds and forget about the ache that blossomed in your chest when Clyde would gently laugh into his mug at something Jimmy said. Or how he kept running his hand through his hair, waves tumbling back into place as soon as his fingers released them. It was becoming too much. The worst part of it all was being around Clyde was  _ fun _ . His dry wit had progressed beyond the quiet, pessimistic humor from his younger years, morphing into a verbal game of catch the grenade between the two of you. It was becoming an addiction. One that had to be stopped before everything exploded at your feet.

You snapped back into the moment, realizing you had left your marshmallow in the fire long enough for it to melt off the stick and become engulfed in ash. You added a fresh marshmallow to the flames and tried to fit back into whatever conversation was happening between Mellie and Jimmy. 

“You alright there, Sun?” Mellie questioned, looking back to your scorched marshmallow. 

“Yeah, just got lost in a daze.” 

“It’s gettin’ late. I think we should pack it up. Got a long drive tomorrow.” Jimmy stretched and started putting the flames out. 

“Aw...but I’m not tired…” Sadie pouted, deep yawn betraying her words. You helped clean up for the night, lost in thought. You watched Mellie and Sadie enter the tent to start heading to bed, but your mind refused to quiet. With the last of the food packed away safely, you made your way down towards the water, hoping the sound of the lake skimming across the smooth clay of the bank would ease you closer to sleep. You removed your shoes, and stepped into the water, pleasantly surprised to find it still warmed by the heat of the day. You closed your eyes for a moment, and breathed deep. Yes,  _ this _ is definitely why you were here. Not for those deep amber eyes...

“What’re you doin’?” 

Keeping down the shriek that fought to escape from inside your chest was an astounding accomplishment. 

“Clyde! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” You hissed, placing a hand over your heart, losing count of its erratic beats. Clyde looked at you with wide, amused eyes and stepped down the small hill to the edge of the water. 

“Is the water cold?”

“No actually, it’s rather warm. What are you doing up?”

Clyde continued to stare at you with that bemused expression. “I was gettin’ a bottle of water for the night.”

Clearly he expected you to answer as well. “I’m not really tired just yet. Thought I’d get in the water at least once since we came all the way here for this lake.” You laughed quietly, toeing the water to create ripples. 

“Does this count as swimmin’ where you’re from?” Clyde questioned. Mirth and amusement creating sweet wrinkles near his eyes. 

“Didn’t say I was going  _ swimming _ !” You sneered back, kicking water at him. Clyde looked down to his splashed leg in surprise.

“You got my shorts wet!” he complained, loud as he dared to go without waking the others. You worked to suppress your giggles, his indignation feeding that mischievous part of your soul that always reared when the Logans were around.

“Then take them off!” 

 

_ Oh no...no no no. _ You froze and choked on whatever your mind was scrambling to come up with to fix it. Clyde stared back at you, eyebrows raised to his hair and shorts dripping. The moment moved far too slow, and the clamoring in your head wasn’t coming up with any useable words to take bach this mess.  _ Looks like I dropped the grenade. _

“I… can’t. Told you I don’t got a swimsuit to change into.” The moonlight was bright, but you still couldn’t see if his face was as red as you thought it might be. 

“Ah… right. Too bad. Swimming at night might’ve been fun.”  _ Yes. There. Fixed it.  _ You took a deep breath and let the relief wash over you. 

“Well, we don’t need swimsuits to go for a quick night swim.” Your eyes snapped back to Clyde’s. “If you’d really regret not swimmin’...” He looked… just as lost as you. Maintaining composure, but just barely. His fist was clenched near his side, his eyes wavered to you and back to the water.  _ Is that sweat or water beaded on his brow?  _ He was a mess...and it made a soft heat start to form under your skin. Sweet and reckless.  __

“I don’t mean skinny dippin’!” He wrenched out quickly, holding a hand up. “I just meant you could jump in like that. If you really want to.”

You bit the inside of your lip and held his eyes. 

_ Oh this is such a bad idea… _

You pulled your shirt over your head with speed. If you took your time, you knew you’d never do it. You dropped your denim shorts in the dirt, and got a running start into the water, jumping in and submerging yourself as quick as you could manage. The water was colder now that you had completely thrown yourself into it, but your body managed to adjust quickly. You found a stretch of land under your feet and re-emerged into the night air. Pulling your hair back and out of our face, you took a breath and turned to face Clyde.

To your surprise, Clyde was not looking at you. In fact, Clyde was not looking at the water at all. He was staring down at the pile of clothes left on the bank of the lake, with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“You just gonna stand there, Clyde?”

His eyes snapped back to you, then immediately down to his feet.

“Sun… your…” He started gesturing with his hand, but dropped it in defeat, keeping his gaze sternly to the dirt. You quirked an eyebrow, and looked down. Your bra was sticking to your chest, cream white lace giving way just slightly to your skin tone. You bent your knees and submerged just a little more, covering your breasts with dark water.

“I’m not doing this alone, Clyde. You started this dare, now get in here!”

Clyde gaped like a fish. “I didn’t say I’d get in! And it wasn’t no dare, Sun! I just thought you wanted to swim… with your clothes on…” 

“Come on, Clyde. The water is actually really nice.”  _ You need to stop while you can, this is going too far! _

“Sunny, if the others wake up…” 

“Then stop talking, Clyde.” 

He stared back at you for a moment. There was a clear war going on in his mind, but you couldn’t tell what side was winning. 

“Sun… you’re almost… practically…”

“Clyde. Of all the things we’ve done as teens, this doesn’t even make the top ten. Come on, one last Cauliflower plan with me.” His eyes flickered back toward the tents above the hill. Dark and undisturbed. He stepped closer to the edge of the water and glanced back to you, uncertain. You waved your hand, beckoning him in. 

Eventually, Clyde let out a deep gruff sound and sighed heavily.  _ Just the same as when we were teens. _ He lifted his shirt over his head and you fought down the urge to stare at him, greedily cataloguing each detail. You had caught a glimpse of it this morning, but seeing him standing there in the moonlight, open to your gaze was dizzying. He continued to remove articles of clothing. His shoes, socks, belt...shorts...until he stood in his underwear on the bank of the water, still as nervous as before. His right arm reached across his chest to his left and he paused. He took in a deep breath, and looked to you for the tiniest moment, before he began to remove the prosthetic from his arm. It came off in stages, with deft practiced fingers slowly removing each section. The arm, the protective sleeve, a cloth, until his left arm was finally bare. He stood tall, and turned to face you, expression hidden, but eyes searching for yours. 

You regarded him carefully. Feeling the weight of the situation crawling up your arms and settling in your stance. You watched him, unblinking and gentle. He finally took a step forward into the water, wincing at the sensation. He immersed himself slowly, step by step, water encompassing him like a deep blanket of stars, slowly reaching up his stomach and to his chest. He finally met you, standing so much taller than you were on the bank of sand that you had found. You kept your eyes locked on his, taking the moment slowly, allowing him the time to adjust; both to the water, and to you. 

“Why do I always end up in the middle of these crazy schemes…?” He whispered, filling the silence. 

“Because you say yes, I suppose?” You smiled, holding back a small laugh when he shook his head in response. You would swear that this was his most natural state. The water trickled slowly down his chest, reflecting slivers of moonlight. His dark hair was deeply contrasted with his skin. His arms tensing from the occasional chill breeze, revealing the corded muscle underneath. You slowly reached a hand out of the water and finally relieved the urge to tuck that tricky part of hair behind his ear, revealing his eyes fully to the reflected light on the water’s surface. Clyde stood silently, watching your hand as you gently traced it down his cheek.  _ Softer than I imagined it would be... _ interspersed with the short hairs of his beard. Your hand traveled down to his neck and a small shiver escaped past his lips. The sound singed through your body, electric and greedy. 

You paused for a moment, wondering if the boundary was still set in place, but you sent him an asking look, and Clyde nodded. This close, you could definitely see the blush forming across his face and passing down to his chest. You trailed your hand down his left arm, stopping at the scars that passed across his skin. You looked back up to Clyde’s face, his eyes lidded heavily, but still nervous...worried maybe. You smiled softly and took his other hand in yours, lacing your fingers together underwater. Clyde watched you, watched every movement you made, every breath you took. 

“Landmine. Clyde… I am so lucky you are still here.” Clyde’s eyebrows raised, finally breaking him of his nerves, and he settled into a light chuckle. 

“ ‘spose you got all the luck, then.” He whispered. You smiled and waded a little deeper into the water, Clyde following close behind, hand still laced in yours. Relaxing onto your back, you floated, staring up at the stars, just how you wanted to earlier. This was better though, Clyde’s warm hand was tucked in yours. It was perfect. You closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the water weave through your hair and lap at your arms. Clyde moved his hand from yours and placed it under your back, guiding you through the water, and you were suddenly convinced you were dreaming. You opened your eyes slowly, taking in the night sky, and turned your head back to Clyde. His eyes were slowly roaming down your body, but he forced them back to look at the water instead.  _ Always the gentleman… _

“We should probably head to the tents, Sun… the others will know we’re gone.” Clyde sighed, voice heavy and steeped deeply with disappointment. You nodded and straightened out your legs so that you felt the ground beneath your feet. Clyde reached underwater for your hand once more, and the two of you walked up the lake until the water fell around your waist. Clyde stopped suddenly, holding you in place with him. You turned to face him, question nearly voiced until you saw his eyes. He was so close now, leaning in, but hovering away. You searched his face, finding your answer in the way he was staring down at your mouth, hungry. You took a small breath in, biting your lip softly. A small sound escaped Clyde’s throat and made your knees weaken, heat pooling in your body. You closed your eyes and leaned closer, knowing that Clyde needed your consent. His left arm wrapped around your waist, and his right trailed slowly over your cheek, but before your body could even register the loss of his heat, it was gone. 

You opened your eyes suddenly and saw Clyde looking over at the tents. You followed his line of sight and noticed Mellie and Sadie’s tent was lit up like a beacon, demanding the two of you back immediately. It was shocking just how sobering that light could be, previous moment melting away into the dark water. You looked back to Clyde, his face schooled back into a far less intimate state as he placed his hand on your back, leading the two of you out of the water. You wrung out your hair and put your clothes back on over your wet underwear, climbing up to the tents as quietly as you could. 

Clyde reached his first, but just before he entered, he turned to you, eyes warm. 

“‘Night Sun. Sleep well.”

“Good night, Clyde… you too.” You smiled and watched him quietly unzip the tent and crawl in. You turned back towards your own, slowly shimmying the zipper of the flap open. You crawled in carefully, but Mellie’s scrutinizing eyes met your own before you could hope to lay your head on your pillow.

“Hey, Sun,” Mellie whispered.

“Hi, Mellie,” you said, voice barely carrying. You had a feeling it was more than a greeting she was after.

Sadie was already fast asleep, the day’s activities having taken their toll. You painstakingly resealed the flap, careful not to wake her. When you turned back to Mellie, she looked pensive. She patted the sleeping bag in front of her, motioning for you to sit. You did, suddenly feeling very nervous.

“Everything all right…?” you asked.

“Yeah,” Mellie said. “It’s just… Sunny. I’d be  _ blind _ not to notice there’s somethin’ happenin’ between you and Clyde.”

You froze, blood rushing in your ears.  _ Is this what it feels like to be on the receiving end of one of their protective sibling acts? _

“I didn’t… I mean… I’m not even sure...” Your eyes turned downcast and you felt your hair slowly dripping lake water on your leg. “You disapprove…?”

Mellie’s eyes widened. She quickly placed a hand over yours. “Oh, heavens no, Sunny.” She shook her head vigorously. “Absolutely not.” She squeezed your hand and smiled at you.

“Then what’s wrong…?”

Mellie sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s just… Have you told him you’re plannin’ on headin’ back when you’re done with the house?”

You felt your face heating again. “I was going to…” you mumbled. “Just haven’t gotten around to it.”

Mellie dropped her hand and fixed you with a point-blank look. “The thing is, Sun. Last time you left, it was hard. On all of us. We all really missed you and it’s not fair to start somethin’ when you’re planning on heading back. You should tell him what’s goin’ on.”

You nodded your head and guilt pulsed through your body; you knew she was right. You had known since you started developing these feelings toward Clyde. But having to confront it now, now that there was...a connection? Whatever you would call that moment in the water. It was going to rip you apart, but even worse, you had no idea what it would do to Clyde.

“Just be careful, Sun. Good night.” Mellie gave your hand one more squeeze and settled into her sleeping bag.

“Night Mellie…”  _ Guess I was never meant to sleep tonight… _

  
  



	8. The Bedroom

Your eyes swept across the large bedroom that you’d been avoiding since you arrived. You had only opened the door to it once before, but shut it immediately, choosing instead to buy food and try to forget about the mess you just witnessed. It wasn’t just the piles of stuff stacked upon every available surface, it was the necessary acknowledgement of your grandad’s passing. This day couldn’t have come at a worse time. You still didn’t know how to face Clyde today.

The drive home from Pine Ridge Lake had been easy. You stayed up way too late the night before, fretting and pulling at any loose seam you could find. When it came time to leave, packing had gone by in a blur and you had passed out for the entire ride home. Neither Sadie’s singing nor Clyde’s snoring could wake you. Mellie had to poke you in the side to inform you that you were back outside your grandfather’s house. You were supposed to pick out more clothes and head back to Mellie and Clyde’s with the lot of them, but you told them you’d spend the night there. You needed some time away to think about what you’d tell Clyde. Mellie understood and let you go, making sure not to wake him up from his own slumber.

Now that you’ve had a night to sleep on it, and the old sofa, your mind had come up with nothing but flimsy excuses and blunt truths. Telling him outright would probably be best, but admitting to yourself that you had to leave crushed you. But work was waiting, your parents had called again last night, horrified that they hadn’t been able to get a hold of you that weekend. It took a good hour to placate them with promises of selling the house and returning soon.

A solid knock to the front door caused your heart to seize momentarily. You had never officially asked Clyde to come help with the bedroom. He had been sleeping, and you didn’t know if you’d be able to face him again so soon, so you had chosen to not make plans. Regardless, he was here, and you were going to have to speak with him eventually. You walked to the front door quickly and upon opening it, you found Clyde, rosy cheeked and stiff. The moment was weighted with too many unspoken words.

“Clyde. Didn’t know if you’d be stopping by today,” you managed, slightly fumbling over your words.

“I figured we weren’t done with the rooms yet. Thought you might still need some help.” His words lacked finesse as well.  _ Seems like we’re both a mess. _

You managed a small smile and let him pass the threshold. “Okay, but I won’t be able to pay you. Haven’t been to the store in a while.”

Clyde waved his hand and walked towards to far end of the hallway towards the bedroom. The two of you stepped inside, and you could feel the heavy sigh that left Clyde’s chest.

“He certainly was a collector.”

“Pack rat, Clyde. That’s the technical term.” Clyde snickered by your side and left to retrieve the last set of boxes that you had. You hoped it would be enough to last. You took a breath and began to plan out how to start with this room, aware of the fact that Clyde would probably leave part way through.  _ I would too if I was him. _ You tied your hair back and decided that the far wall would be the best place to start.

Towers of papers and notebooks sat on the dresser, collecting dust and bleaching from sunlight. When Clyde returned, the two of you worked quietly together, clearing off the dresser and starting with the headboard side-shelf. You knew you were being too silent. This sudden drop of conversation screamed “Talk to me!” You bit your lip and continued without a word. Clyde’s eyes didn’t help. He was watching you with enough intensity to cause an innocent man to plead guilty. The air was becoming warm and stuck to your lungs.

You reached for the frames littering the top of the headboard. Pictures of the grandmother you never met, you, in various ages… a photo of your parents even… but eventually you pulled a photo of you at fifteen years old. You knew, because your hair was shorter than ever. The result of Mellie being too experimental with the scissors. Your hair was framed with sunflowers, carefully tucked behind your ears. To your side, Mellie hung off your shoulder and was mid laugh staring at Jimmy. He was behind the group of you, actually hanging off a low branch from the apple tree in your grandfather’s yard. But next to him, stood a young Clyde. Tall, thin and wiry, black hair covering his ears. He was leaning on the tree casually, head turned to wait for Jimmy’s inevitable fall. His profile had remained the same through the years, strong nose, soft eyebrows and full lips. He was handsome then, too. You could really see it now.

Tears began to pour from your eyes, unhindered by the company you had, the dust caked to your hands or the screaming order to  _ stop _ from deep in your mind. Your shoulders began to shake and you had to lean onto the bed frame to keep yourself upright. Clyde was near you in a instant, hand on your shoulder and asking questions you couldn’t actually hear. Just the sounds of your sobs and struggles for breath reached you, pitched high and desperate. Clyde spun you to face him, eyes darkened with worry.

“Sun? Sunny what is goin’ on?” He repeated, loud and commanding, but drenched in concern. You leaned your forehead against his chest, and let yourself be supported by his strength. His arms slowly came around your back, holding you through the wretched sounds and shakes that echoed in your chest. When the crying finally began to lighten, you felt him maneuver the two of you until you sat side by side on the bed. His right arm continued to rub circles on your back. You wiped your tears with the back of your hand knowing that dirt would be spread across your cheeks. Your lungs, finally tired from the struggle to regain control, began to calm and you were able to hold a few even breaths before you began.

“Clyde. I have missed twelve years. Twelve years of smores. Twelve years of being the only family that would talk to my grandfather. Years of being there for Jimmy during a child and divorce. Years of being Mellie’s closest friend...years of being here, in one of the most beautiful places...with you. I look around and I see everything I have missed. I see my grandpa’s stuff and think about how I should’ve been there for his last days. I see Sadie and think about all the birthday gifts I have to make up for. I see you and I…” Clyde watched you intently. Hanging off every word that you managed to choke out of your tired and burning throat.

“I see all of this missed time. I know I was miserable out there. I found things to do to distract me from just how much I hated being  _ there _ with my parents. I really do love them, but we both know that I am just in a place where I can’t keep this up anymore. They need to give me my space to be a person. The only time I ever felt like my own person was when I was here. With you...” Clyde continued to watch you. Eyes warm and concentrated on yours.

“...And I am just really upset, Clyde. I only have till the end of the summer, and my teaching job is going to need me again. My parents are really...demanding. They want me to sell the house and move back. Even earlier than the end of summer if they can help it at all. And I...I just don’t want to miss any more.”

Clyde’s hand stopped the tiny ministrations of comfort on your shoulder. His mouth tightened into a straight line. You searched him over, waiting for the next words to come from him. Waiting for him to yell. To tell you that you had been leading him on this entire time, only to leave, but those words didn’t come. In fact, no words ever did. Clyde moved slightly, to sit closer to your side, and he wrapped his arms around your back, warm and solid. Holding onto you for a time that you couldn’t even measure. It might’ve been a full hour and you wouldn’t be aware. He was holding you, and you had never felt more at ease than you did in those moments.

When he finally let a little bit of distance between you, his expression had remained unreadable. He was too good at masking how he felt, or you were too exhausted to be able to pick through the details. You stood then, fit your hands in your back pockets and closed your eyes. You needed to figure out what you could do about this. About your family, about Clyde...about this room.

“Clyde. I think I need to do this room alone.” Clyde rose from the bed and stood in front of you for a moment. He nodded his head gently and the two of you walked back down the hall to the door. You watched Clyde drive away, and stared after him long after the car faded from view. You turned back into the house only after the fresh breeze outside had started to chill your arms. 

Looking back to the bedroom, you felt lighter. Ready to handle the onslaught of books, clothes, photos and paper, but also ready to start missing your grandad.

You packed each stack of piano music sheets into a box and took time to remember his playing. The times when you’d lay on the rug and listen to him practice.

You packed away the books, keeping his favorites in a new space on the living room shelf.

You relocated photos to the study and dining room shelves, scattered between the wildflowers you had been bringing inside in vases.

You decided to keep a single hat, one that he wore when he took you fishing. You let the tears fall once more. Gentle and soothing over your cheek, and placed it on the piano.

The night had fallen, and your tears had dried. You cut some flowers from the backyard and placed them in small vases around the bedroom. One vase next to his portrait in the living room.

You removed the sheets from the bed and replaced them with fresh ones, white and scented like soap.

That night was not spent on the sofa. 

_____________________________

  
  


Clyde was a quiet man by nature. It was easy to speak over him most of the time, and his comments could easily go unnoticed if someone wasn’t paying attention. His siblings tended to do most of the talking, while he occasionally interjected with a question or pointed comment. He was a very introspective man, and those that knew him well understood that.

Since learning Sunny was leaving again, however, he was quiet even by his usual standards.

Clyde’s silence persisted throughout the day and into the evening, well past opening the Duck Tape. He’d unstacked the chairs, unlocked the liquor cabinets, and even cleaned the counter for good measure, though he always did so the night prior. The regulars were easy enough to serve. He knew all of their orders by heart. He made do with a nod, a gesture, or a drink.

Quiet was how he settled all of his problems. But he didn’t know how well it would work this time around.

“Hey, Clyde.”

Clyde looked up. Jimmy had managed to slip in and was sitting at the bar.

“What are you thinkin’ about?”

Clyde shrugged and retrieved a Coors Light from the fridge, setting it in front of his brother.

Jimmy glanced at the beer, then back up at him. “Sunny tell you she was leaving?”

Clyde frowned. “You knew?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

Jimmy took a swig of his beer. “Found out yesterday. Mellie told me.”

“Why was I the last to know?”

“Mellie said she was plannin’ on telling you herself.”

“Well, she did.” Clyde pulled a couple of shot glasses off the top cabinet and filled them with something stronger than Coors Light. Jimmy watched him set one in front of each of them, holding the drink up to his eyes.

“Did you two argue?”

Clyde shook his head and brought the shot up to his lips, downing it quickly without much of a sting.

“Nothin’ to argue about. She wasn’t happy about it either.”

Jimmy’s eyes flickered back to Clyde for a moment, before he took his turn and finished off his drink with a quick turn of his wrist, eyes scrunching up with the burn of vodka hissing down his throat.

“Looks like history is doomed to repeat itself. And no, this ain’ nothin’ to do with that curse.”

Clyde flashed Jimmy a withered expression and poured one more shot for each of them. Jimmy pulled the small glass close, eyes still fixed to Clyde’s.

“So what would you call it?” Clyde asked.

“...Another chance maybe?” Jimmy finished off his shot, easier than the first. “So what are you gonna do?”

Clyde regarded Jimmy across the counter, unblinking and still. A moment passed, and Clyde leaned back against the liquor cabinet and took the shot.


	9. Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away

“ _...Hey, honey. I have some good news._ ”

 

 _Yeah, that can’t be good._ You thought, taking a seat back on the recently fixed bed.

“Okay I’ll bite. What’s the news?” You sighed. These two never even gave you the chance to change out of your sleepwear.

“ _We found a real estate agent in the area. We spoke over the phone and they’re willing to take up the house. They’ll even do the whole thing over the phone, so you can come back tonight!_ ”

Your eyes widened and a chill ran down your arms.

“...Tonight?”

“ _Yeah! Isn’t it great! We know it’s been hard on you, honey. That house has got to be a mess, and it’s been taking up all of your time. But this will work! You don’t have to lift a finger._ ”

Ice trickled down your spine and settled in your stomach. You closed your eyes and tried to warm it with deep even breaths, but it remained solid in your gut.

“...I don’t understand.”

Your mother rattled on with an explanation of just how the agent would be in contact over email and phone, how signatures could be settled and money sent over directly to your account, but you chose not to listen. If you did, it would become your reality. You set the phone down on the bed, your mother’s muffled voice continuing on with the technical details of rental agreements while you rifled through the recently organized dressers for a suitable outfit. Something that you could put on and disappear in, but that type of outfit didn’t exist. You slipped on your shoes quickly and picked up the phone to your ear once more.

“Mom.” You interjected, cutting into the middle of her speech.

“ _...Yes?_ ”

“I’ll call you back.” You hung up suddenly, and left your phone on the bedside shelf. You grabbed your keys, locked up the house that you loved, and decided that if your clothes didn’t make you disappear, your truck certainly would.

 

You peeled out of the driveway, kicking dust up into the air. Mellie had taught you a few things back in the day. Most helpful of which was making a quick getaway. You drove down the small dirt road towards the main, trying to rein in your mind enough to plan out a destination. But part of you didn’t really care.

A car blew past you down the road, dirt flying behind almost high enough to obscure the color. But you knew it.

_Clyde..?_

You watched the car in the rear view mirror hit the brakes hard, sliding forward slightly through the sudden stop. You stopped too, sitting in the driver’s seat in shock. _Why is he here…?_

Clyde opened up the door to his car and began to step out. You leaned your head back onto the headrest for a moment, closing your eyes and steadying the tears that threatened to spill. You couldn’t cry in front of him again.

You opened up the truck and jumped down into the road, hoping you were ready to face him.

As he walked towards you, you began to catalogue every last detail you could. The way his steps fell heavily on the dirt, how the breeze blew his hair away from his face, echoing the long grasses to the sides of the road and leaving his expression unprotected. The low brows and tight line his lips were held in.

 

_He must be feeling pretty serious about something…_

 

But that thought was halted when you looked down his left arm and saw a handful of wild sunflowers gathered tightly in his grip.

He jogged over to you quickly, forgoing his typical daytime button-down for a t-shirt. He definitely missed time this morning to comb his hair in place, and it fell wildly behind as he drew near. He looked hurried and a little frantic.

You agonized every step he took closer.

 

When he finally reached you, close enough to count the dark freckles that sprinkled across his face, he took a single deep breath and held your gaze.

You waited, feeling his tension, pulled tight across the small distance between you. Neither of you willing to close the space to release it, nor turn away and break it. Clyde studied you for a moment, eyes flickering over to your truck, and falling back to yours.

 

“Sun. Before you go, I need to say somethin’...” He began, voice low and broken, catching along the edges. You stared at him openly. Unable to even nod your head for him to continue. You just wished he would take your silence as approval to do so.

 

“When you left us last time...I couldn’t say anything. I had meant to say a lot. But I didn’t.” He dropped his head and looked at your feet. “I wanted to ask you not to go. I know you didn’t have a choice. But I didn’t even tell you _why_ I didn’t want you to go.”

 

Your breath caught in its cage once more. Your heart began hammering, and you urged it to quiet so that you could keep listening to the words that Clyde managed to force along.

“Sun. I have loved you since we were jus’ kids.” Clyde winced, and looked back into your eyes. “I wasn’t ever able to forget about you. I fell in love with you, and when you left, I never loved another woman after that. I couldn’t say anythin’ then. I was a coward, but I need to do right by the both of us this time. I gotta at least tell you what I’m thinkin’.”

Tears fell over your cheeks, unnoticed by you until they blurred your vision. Even then, you let them fall freely to the dusty road.

 

“Sunny. Please. Don’t go.”

 

Clyde moved his left arm higher, lifting the sunflowers to you. He stood unsure, but his eyes remained fiercely trained on yours.

“I know you have obligations. Your work and...family...but the way you light up here. With Jimmy, Mellie...and me. I hope you feel like we can be your family too. And even if you don’ share how I feel about you...”

Warmth poured into your body, releasing it from its stasis.

 

You moved forward, stepping between Clyde’s feet and framed his cheeks with your hands. Clyde’s words dissolved and his eyes widened as you carded your fingers gently through his hair. He stared at you, transfixed, taking short trembling breaths through his parted lips.

You pulled him down close and pressed your lips over his.

 

For the smallest moment, Clyde didn’t move, didn’t breathe, and neither did you until Clyde’s arms wound around your back and he pulled you against him with a fierce strength. You could feel his fingers grasp at your shoulder, holding you still within his embrace, and you pulled him impossibly closer, wrapping your own arms atop his shoulders, your feet nearly leaving the ground.

The short dark hairs on his chin tickled your skin, causing you to smile through the kiss. You could feel Clyde smile back, and you leaned away slightly to see joy written apparent through the wrinkles near his eyes and in the corners of his lips. He was staring down at you almost incredulously. Eyebrows drawn together in confusion, but the smile fitted to his lips was enough to keep you speechless.

You kissed him again, deeper this time, pulling him even lower to gain better access. You opened your own mouth just a bit and Clyde immediately responded, tasting your lips before his tongue passed between and your body melted in his arms.

A small moan escaped your throat, and Clyde’s arms tightened around you, body singing in response.

 

Clyde pulled back slowly, breaths coming in deep, heavy pants, but his arms kept you close. You didn’t mind one bit, as you leaned into his arms and trailed a hand back down his cheek.

“Sun…” Clyde started, but couldn’t seem to finish his question. You smiled, and turned slightly to take the sunflowers, still clenched tightly in his left hand.

“Shall we go and put these in some water?” You asked, eyes meeting his. You felt the heat that connected through to him. You knew you were the one sending it, begging him to come home with you.

_Real rich coming from someone who’s never…_

 

Clyde continued drawing in deep breaths and his heartbeat was strong enough that you could feel it through the hand you slid down his chest. His eyes widened slightly, never breaking from yours. Finally, he nodded and leaned down once more to send another soft, searing kiss to your lips before relinquishing the sunflowers and his grip on you. Your nerves were shaking under your skin, but looking at Clyde, hair misplaced through the breeze and cheeks flushed, you felt...right. You knew what you wanted, and for once, you felt confident in that decision.

 

You barely remembered to lock the front door.

Clyde’s warm breath whispering over your neck as you closed the latch and turned to place your lips over his once more. Clyde wrapped his arms around you, breaking the kiss gently and walking you to the sofa you once used as your bed.

You grasped his hand softly and shook your head.

“This way…” you whispered, and lead him down the hall. Clyde’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, but he followed you to the bedroom.

You opened the door, ready for Clyde to be surprised at the wonderfully clean room it had become. Instead, his eyes never once left yours, sending shivers down your back and through your fingertips.

Clyde placed his hands on your sides, pressing hard and kissing you deeply. He walked you backwards until your legs found the edge of the mattress. He guided you to a sitting position gently, and took a sudden small step back, holding your hands in both of his, metal and flesh.

“Sun. This is goin’ a little fast…” He breathed, keeping his distance.

You regarded him carefully and took a moment to settle your wild heart. “I know, Clyde. Do you want to wait?”

Clyde knelt down beside your legs, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“I want to do whatever your comfortable with. Sun...I’ve loved you a _long_ time. I..didn’t think we’d ever be here, and I can wait however long you need.”

He pulled your hand up to his lips and set a gentle kiss along your fingers. Your breath never seemed to submit to your control whenever he was around… and now that you were here, you couldn’t stop the rioting urge to feel the heat of his skin seep into yours. You hovered your fingers above his cheek once more, letting them fall gentle and soft down to his skin. Tracing them over his strong nose, down to his kiss-reddened lips. His breath trembled softly and his eyes closed, allowing you full control.

“Clyde...admittedly, I don’t have a lot of experience. But I do know...that I really want you. I’ve...fallen in love with you. I want you so much that I don’t know how to handle it sometimes…”

Clyde’s hands tightened over yours and you could feel the small shivers that ran through his body travel up your arms, pulsing through your chest. He looked up at you then, and to your shock, his eyes were lined red. You took a breath, watching the tears escape him slowly. He released your hands and brushed them off his cheeks quickly. You brought your hands up to his face again and pulled him near, kissing over his cheeks and to the corner of his eye.  A soft sound rumbled through his chest, shooting heat through your body once more. You laced your fingers through his hair, and gently pulled him close, resting your forehead along his.

“Clyde, I know I want this. I know I want you. Please…”

Clyde shut his eyes, squeezed tight, hands clenched and took a solid deep breath. He leaned back slowly, almost causing you to reach back out to keep him near until he started removing your shoes. You watched him work, fingers gentle, using his left hand to stabilize your foot. He was quick and precise, taking little time to remove them.

He sat taller and traced his fingers along the edge of your shirt. Nervous as you were, unable to still your electrified body, every careful movement Clyde made towards you soothed your mind, wrapping that shooting electric current in warmth and stability. You placed your hands on his and helped him guide the shirt up and over your body. His eyes lowered slowly, flickering up to yours occasionally, seeking permission.

“This looks familiar…” He whispered, fingers hovering over the lace of the same bralette you had worn in the lake. You smiled and pulled his arm closer, connecting his hand with the delicate fabric. He shivered, but kept his hand in place, sturdy, heat seeping through the lace.

“I know…I should probably go shopping…” You laughed softly, barely able to connect your words. He shook his head and gently began adding pressure through his hand, squeezing your breast softly.

“I like it…”

You took in a trembling breath and leaned into his touch. His fingers started to trace your breast, finding your nipple peeking under the fabric, veiled by the sheer lace. He released a breath you didn’t know he had been holding and moved to your other breast with his right hand, beginning his ministrations once again.

You reached for his left arm and slowly replaced his right, taking that one and moving it back to its original spot. Clyde looked up to you, uncertainty straining through his eyes, but you continued. You reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall on his hands. Clyde’s eyes widened and he slowly lifted them off of your breasts to let the bra fall to the floor. You felt the breath he released this time, a warm burst of air landing gently on your naked chest.

He pressed his hands against you once more, palming your breasts, thumb gently gliding over your nipples, causing your back to arch towards his touch.

“Beautiful…” He whispered and paused, one more heavy lidded question beneath his dark irises and you nodded, urging him to continue. There was no way you could stop now. The heat that had begun to form had taken control of your nerves, spreading through your belly and settling even lower. You could feel your body readying for...this. Like a well-practiced dance, it knew the steps, and guided you through every moan that Clyde lured from between your lips.

Clyde leaned forward, mouth attaching to your neck and sparks shot down your body.

He dragged his lips lower down your chest, stopping for kisses along the way down to your breasts. He stopped at each nipple, taking his time to taste, a groan rising through his body every time your back arched your body closer to his mouth. His fingers fell to your shorts and a heavy flush settled on your cheeks, but his eyes kept you safe. You helped him undo the button and zipper and lifted your hips while he shuffled your shorts and panties down your legs and off your ankles. You sat on the bed and placed your hands over your lap, fixing him with a raised eyebrow and capricious smile.

“Am I going to be the only one naked here, Clyde?”

Clyde stood and placed another kiss to your lips quickly before taking a step back and shaking his head.

“I hope not.” He chuckled, and began removing his shirt over his head, hair falling in waves back around his head.

_Oh wow…_

Seeing him here, knowing that you were both readying for this moment, his chest flushed with a beautiful pink tinge running from his collarbone and down lower, it took your breath away. He reached down and undid the fastening on his pants, letting them fall to the floor and pool at his feet. He slipped his fingers beneath the waist of his underwear then hesitated, looking uncertain for a moment before lowering them slowly off his body until he was bared just as much to you as you were to him. You swallowed thickly, forcing your eyes back up to his, your body reacting to him like an addiction.

You sat back on the bed, lining your head with the pillows and allowing him room to crawl up over your bent knees, settling between your legs.

“Sun...I’m sorry. I didn’t bring anything...but I can still make you-”

You placed your lips to his, silencing him and giggling through the kiss. You had been on the pill for a while due to uneven cycles. You never thought it would come in handy this way, but in the moment, you couldn’t be more thankful.

“It’s okay...I’ve got it taken care of…” you blushed and watched him process your meaning.

Eventually he nodded and spread his hand through your hair, kissing you softly and trailing down your chest once again. God that felt good. Clyde’s lips had been tempting enough to drive you to madness, and feeling the soft warmth trailing down your breasts and over your stomach felt blissful. Each kiss erupting sparks in its wake. Clyde continued, kissing you lower and lower until he had to part your legs further to continue. You sat up on your elbows, blushing furiously, trying to come up with a way to speak through the haze that wound through your mind.

“Clyde...You don’t...have to…” Clyde watched you for a small moment.

“...But can I?”

_Oh this man is trying to kill me._

You decided it was best to stop talking and nodded your head softly.

Clyde leaned back down, eyes hazy and fingers gentle as he ran two of them down your soft curls and parted you to his gaze. A deep groan filled the air and Clyde continued to trace you, from the bundle of nerves that sang from his attentions down to your folds. You knew you were wet, surprised by just how much. When you were alone, it never amounted to anything like this. Heat seared through Clyde’s gaze when you could leave your eyes open long enough to see it. His touch was scorching, drawing you body deeper into desperation.

Finally, Clyde lowered himself close enough to swipe his tongue along the path previously traveled by his fingers, and you cried out, clenching the blankets within your grasp. Clyde let out another deep groan, almost animalistic in nature and pressed his tongue harder against you, lighting your body up like lightning and making it impossible to do anything but pant desperately and seize onto the comforter like a lifeline.

Clyde wrapped his hands along your thighs, gently squeezing as he continued to delve into you, wrenching sounds from your mouth that you knew you’d be embarrassed by later. The sensation between your legs continued to build with every movement he made, every moan and growl that released from him and your body began to tremble. Your fingers slid into Clyde’s hair, clenching at the base, drawing out the most beautiful moan you had ever heard. Your hips raised slightly and you cried out loudly, Clyde’s mouth still firmly pressed to you through your climax.

You took deep, shuddering breaths as you recovered. Panting and blissfully sated. Clyde lifted his head slowly, looking thoroughly debauched. His hair twisted into charming curls where your fingers had desperately clutched, and there was a shine to his lips that made you blush to your fingertips. His eyes held yours, filled with adoration and desire. Enough to cause your already overworked heart to stumble its way through the next few beats.

“Clyde...that was incredible…” you breathed, pleasure making you honest.

Clyde actually _smirked_ at you as he wiped your release from his chin. You knew you’d have to yell at him for that later, but right now you had to focus on calming your body and easing the trembles that trickled down your legs. Clyde fit himself over you, leaning on his right arm, warmth seeping into your skin just how you liked. He kissed your temple softly, fingers carding through your hair as he waited for you to settle. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him tight to you, nuzzling his chest and taking comfort in the fact that your heart was certainly not the only one racing.

“Sun, I’m gonna need to take my hand off…” he whispered against your hair, continuing the light strokes. You nodded and moved to sit up a little as he lifted himself off his side and turned to the side table. He removed the prosthetic again, just like he did at the lake, gently placing each piece on the side shelf. When he turned back, the previous confidence that had lit up his face had dimmed, giving way to a more serious expression.

“It's...been awhile...I’ve never done this without…” He gestured to his left arm and looked back to you. You smiled and pulled him back onto the bed slowly, until he was laying next to you, naked and absolutely perfect.

“Would it help if you were like this…?” You pushed his shoulder down until he lay flat against the bed. He swallowed audibly, and nodded once. You took a deep breath, and placed your legs to the sides of his hips. Clyde let out a soft groan as you slid along his length, preparing yourself for the feel of him against you. This feeling was new, and you were surprised by how soft he was; skin warm and coated with your pleasure, moving slowly against your own heat.

“Are you sure..?” Clyde whispered, words tight against his teeth as you continued your motions, feeling him catch on those nerves that lit your body like flames and relaxing your body against him.

“More sure than I’ve felt about a lot of things, Clyde...I love you.”

You lined yourself up with his length and slowly began to lower yourself onto him. The stretch was searing, and lowering yourself was agonizingly slow for the both of you. Clyde was, like the rest of his body, very large. Deep, desperate sounds spilled from his mouth with every inch you took, and your nails dug marks into his chest where you held to keep yourself stable.

You let out a soft sigh when he was finally inside you completely, taking a moment to adjust to the feeling. Clyde reached up to your cheek with his right hand and stroked his thumb across, comforting you through the unfamiliar ache. When you were ready, you lifted your hips gently and gasped at the feeling of him dragging against you, heat bursting and lighting before your eyes. You sat back against his hips, trying out a little bit more force, and Clyde grit his teeth. You began a rhythm, slowly at first, breath starting to come heavy with each repeated motion. Lifting and descending once again, taking him a little harder each time.

Your legs began to waver, muscles strained with use and pleasure. Clyde’s hair was lined with sweat, spread against the pillows like an aura of deep black fringe. His body was flushed, beads of sweat pooling along his collarbone and sternum. You couldn’t go fast enough to meet the speed you needed to reach that place that Clyde had brought you to before. Sensations washing over, wrenching pleasure and heat from every nerve in your body.

“Clyde...please…” you whined, tightening against him, rocking back as hard as your legs would allow.

Clyde choked back a groan, and placed a hand on your waist, stilling your movements. He guided you slightly higher on his cock and held you in place, before he snapped his hips up into you, faster than you could fall on him.

Your body immediately responded, every single nerve screaming for more, gasps and moans falling to Clyde’s ears as you fell forward onto his chest, still taking his thrusts deep within. You started to clench around him, heat building into overwhelming sensation. Through the building pressure in your core, you focused and opened your eyes, needing to see Clyde come undone just as you were.

Clyde was looking at you, adoration and reverence across his sweat streaked face. His bit down on his parted lips, keeping himself from finishing too soon, but looking just as close as you felt.

Clyde thrust hard into you then, angle changing just slightly as you leaned forward to kiss his neck and you saw stars. He focused on that spot, driving himself into you hard enough to echo pleasure throughout your entire body. Your fingers gripped tightly into his shoulders and you screamed, wetness and heat and pleasure filling your body. Clyde thrust deeply, once, twice more, spilling himself and groaning, fingers clenched around your waist.

You slowly parted your bodies, and let your head fall to his chest. Closing your eyes and listening to the sounds of Clyde’s heart pounding, hard enough to feel on your cheek. Clyde had his arms wrapped around your back, and the two of you lay together, sharing breath and warmth. Clyde leaned down and peppered the top of your head with gentle kisses, fingers sliding along your back, tracing designs.

“Sun...you doin’ alright..?” Clyde breathed, tracing your shoulder blade.

“So much better than alright…” you answered, sighing and nuzzling closer to his chest. Clyde chuckled, the sound deep and reverberating with your ear pressed against him.

“You’re so beautiful…” Clyde whispered against your hair, soft and filled with amazement. The tone of his voice, low and gorgeous, had your heart fluttering anew. You lifted your head off of his chest and crawled up his body, placing kisses along his jaw and up to his lips.

“So are you…” you whispered back, tracing your fingertips against the skin of his left arm, leaning back to look into his eyes. Clyde watched you for a moment, silent and contemplative. He wound his arms around your back, pulling you tight against him once more, kissing you like the world itself just didn’t exist beyond this moment. You certainly would’ve believed it.

You broke this kiss to catch your breath, eyes heavy and body falling to deep relaxation. With a little trouble and maneuvering, the two of you slipped under the covers, pleasure subsiding to exhaustion. Wrapped in Clyde’s arms, you succumbed to sleep, listening to the sound of gentle snores and strong heartbeats.

 

Your nap was quick, heavy sun filling the room and waking you swiftly. It was probably around noon, and you regretted taking the ugly cloth curtains down from this room. But honestly, they had been awful. You turned to your side and beamed. Clyde was still asleep, laying flat against the pillows, hair splayed about wildly and lips parted gently. You leaned down and gave him a small kiss to his forehead, causing him to moan quietly and curl closer towards your body. You suppressed a giggle and stroked his hair. There was a tattoo on his right arm that you finally got to study a little closer. A skull with wings and a banner of script too small to read. You smirked and traced it lightly. When you were teens, Jimmy had sworn he’d get a tattoo, something cool and intimidating. Clyde had fixed him with a disbelieving stare and told him he was stupid. _And look who ended up tattooed..._

You watched him sleep for a little while longer, eyes flickering every now and then beneath his lids. You thought back to the conversation in the road.

_Sun. I have loved you since we were jus’ kids._

You trailed your fingers over every spot that sprinkled his arm, collecting them in a line.

_Sunny. Please. Don’t go._

You removed your hand from his skin and and carefully reached past Clyde’s head to the shelf on the headboard, patting blindly until you found your phone thrown in the cubby haphazardly. You scrolled through your missed calls, all from your parents and deleted them one by one. You hadn’t even been gone that long, but they had managed to dial up quite a list. When you reached the last call, you tapped on your mom’s name and the phone began to patch you through. With no surprise, your mother picked up on the first ring.

 _“Honey. What was that about? Is everything okay?”_ She sounded worried, and you bit back the apology that you automatically felt you owed.

“Everything is fine mom, I promise. I was hoping to talk to you and dad real quick.” You whispered.

_“...both of us?”_

“Yeah.”

You could hear your mom call over you dad and hit the speaker button. _Well, here goes…_

“Hi you guys. I know this is going to sound sudden...but I need to talk to you about something.” You took the deafening silence on the other end for permission to continue.

“I...Well, I am keeping grandad’s house. I won’t be selling it.” There was more silence. You would’ve thought the connection broke, but you could still hear the cat meowing in whichever room they were standing in.

_“Honey.”_

You fought down the tensing that sprang up your arm at the stern tone.

_“That is ridiculous.”_

You took a steadying breath. “It isn’t. I _love_ it here. I loved being here before we moved. Being back here makes me feel like my old self again…”

_“What do you mean, your old self? Honey, you did fine here. Straight A’s, good job...there aren’t going to be those opportunities there for you.”_

True that you weren’t sure what you’d do for work, but you had a house. Enough money to get you through for a while during a search. You knew you were taking a gamble on a teaching position, but you also had a lot of stability here.

“I did so well in school because it was the only thing I felt comfortable doing...you can’t tell me that I look half as happy over there as when I was here!”

 _“Is this something to do with the house. Did that man do something? Leave you a card, or what not?”_ That threw you off until you realized they were talking about your grandfather.

“This isn’t anything to do with grandpa, really. It’s to do with me. I never got to tell you how much I hated leaving! And I just can’t do it again!” you cried, bubbling over with frustration. “I love being here. And I have already missed too much…”

 _“There is nothing going on in that small town for you to miss, come home. There isn’t anything for you over there but an old house filled with junk..!”_ your mom begged, and you could hear the desperation turning to fear.

“Mom, Dad...I love you. But you _have_ to see I am not happy over there. Here...I have the life I never really knew that I needed. The house is cleaned out, and it’s become a part of me...I fell in love…” You smiled, despite the bitterness that had clawed its way into the conversation.

There was more silence. You could imagine your parents sharing looks with each other, confused and frantic.

_“Honey. Are you talking about the house, or..?”_

You sighed deeply and considered ending the call. But no, you wouldn't. You had to stand up to them this time. Despite their reputation as grudge-holder champions, you knew you had to learn how to bear the brunt of their anger and let it pass.

“No. I fell in love with the house, the town...and I fell in love with Clyde...I think you remember him.”

 _“...Honey…”_ your mother began, voice clouded with patronizing breath.

“It isn’t open for discussion. I haven’t ever fought you on your decisions in the past. I stayed silent when you cut me off from my grandfather, who is now gone. I didn’t complain when you ripped me away from the only friends that I ever really loved, but this is the one thing I am not going to let go. I am staying here. I love you and I know you’ll be able to get through this one day...at least I really hope so. Please try, because one day you’re going to realize that if you don’t, you’ll be cutting me off just like you did with grandad. And I know he passed still loving you, but I really don’t want us to end up like that...Clyde makes me happy. Happier than I can even remember being. Some day, I think you’ll finally be able to see that. Bye.”

You punched the end call button, once again prickling at the lack of slamming capabilities your phone carried. You needed something stronger than this fragile thing. You realized then that your voice must’ve woken Clyde up, call ending with such a strong and assertive tone. _Honestly, I’m a little proud of that_ …

You turned to check and saw Clyde’s wide, amber eyes staring straight into yours. He was actually sitting up in bed, blankets falling over his hips, hair even more deshelved than you imagined it could go. You blushed, setting your phone down and pulling the blankets up to cover your breasts.

_Funny, not like he hasn’t already gotten a real good look._

Clyde sat up straight, gently pulling you close with his right hand. You moved forward until he had you sit on his lap, blankets abandoned for shared body heat.

“...That your parents…?” Clyde whispered, hand falling down your side and to your waist. His eyes didn’t blink, even through the desperation in his voice. You closed the space between the two of you, kissing him gently until he made that lovely sound in the back of his throat, and you pressed into him more insistently.

“...yeah. I know it’s a sudden decision...but what is one more crazy plan between us, hm?”

Clyde huffed out a small breath, eyes filled with wonder. You were so weak to those eyes...you kissed him again, held him as he nuzzled into your hair and licked a small trail from the dip in your shoulder to the fluttering pulse near your throat. You grinned mischievously as you ground down onto his lap, moving your body over his slowly and taking his lips with yours once more.

Clyde fought the whimper under his breath and looked up at you quickly.

“It’s not like I have to go to work or anything…” you offered, voice gleaming with false innocence. Clyde grinned and clutched at your waist, fingers digging into your side as he dragged your body over him again.

“Time for payback for that smirk earlier…” you whispered into his ear, savoring the shuddering breath he released near yours.

The afternoon became a game of tag, filled with moans and heat and tender kisses placed on your temple and his nose. Your hands intertwined together for hours.

 

_____________________________

 

You were incredibly impressed with Clyde’s ability to lumber out of bed and start dressing again. You had absolutely no inclination to do such a crazy thing, but Clyde asked you to join him as he opened the bar, and you found the warmth of your bed was outweighed in value with time spent with that wonderful man.

Slow-limbed and stretching, you finally were able to put on your clothes...and fix whatever had become of your hair. Late and uncaring, the two of you drove the bar together sitting in comfortable silence. Clyde’s hand would brush over your own in between gear changes, sometimes squeezing gently. You looked ahead and snuck glances over at Clyde, catching that small smile that flickered over his features feeling it travel over to you as well.

You helped Clyde set up, despite his insistence that you didn’t need to do a thing; pulling the chairs off the tables and taking a seat at the bar. Clyde worked quietly, wiping off tables and glasses, but the more you studied him, the more you caught those stolen glances he passed over to you. His eyes would reach yours and flicker away quickly, leaving warmth spreading through your chest. _There was definitely something familiar about this…_

The bar filled quickly, a sudden rush of construction workers clocking out and relaxing from their workdays, taking up the small space. You sat quietly, watching Clyde work. He never rushed through the orders, even when they piled up, making sure everything was precise and well crafted. When the orders finally slowed, he returned to his spot across from you and placed a lager before you hands, reminiscent, forcing you to hold back a laugh.

“I’ll try not to spit this one out…” You winked and took a sip. Clyde smiled back at you, small lines framing his lips and it took every ounce of self control not to crawl across the bar and take those lips with yours.

The door opened once more, causing Clyde to break the weighted eye contact.

“Hey Clyde, race is on! Why ain’t the t.v.?” Jimmy complained, before he spotted you. “Sun! Nice to see you here! You done with the house?” he asked, taking a spot next to you. Mellie followed him in and took up the stool to your other side, signaling Clyde for her usual. She gave your shoulder a pat in greeting, eyes wandering down your neck, eyebrows raising. You had an idea as to what she had spotted, but you coughed lightly and continued with another swig.

“Sun. How was your day..? Get a lot of things done..?” she asked, the underlying questions curling through her voice like cream through coffee.

“Actually yes...house is cleaned out. Just need to start putting my own stuff in. As I get it...” you answered, flushing and refusing to meet her unyielding stare.

“Your own stuff…?” she questioned again. Verbally poking you until you’d snap. Jimmy watched the exchange, smile growing quickly through his understanding.

“Sun. Are you...staying?” he asked cautiously, glancing over to Clyde and back to you. Clyde for his part, was completely unhelpful. Smiling down at his hands and pretending to be busy wiping down the immaculate counter. You released a soft laugh and nodded.

“Yes, I’m staying…”

Jimmy actually stood from his chair and yelled with joy, loud enough to cause a few surrounding heads to turn in surprise. Mellie beamed and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly for a moment, before looking over to Clyde, who had seemed to anticipate the noise and remained quiet at his side of the bar.

“Clyde! What did ya say?” Jimmy asked, wide eyes full of uncontained excitement. You bit your lip and looked over to Clyde as well, eyebrow raising as he floundered in the growing attention.

“He told me about the little crush he had on me when we were kids…” you supplied, grinning back at Clyde’s unamused expression.

Mellie scoffed loudly and took a sip of her ale.

“Little crush? He was a complete mess.”

“Yep,” Jimmy agreed, “Couldn’t get him to say a damn thing to you before you left.”

You frowned, thinking about how hard that day was for you, and how hard it must’ve been for him as well.

“Well, thankfully there won’t be a repeat performance,” you supplied after a moment, causing Mellie to squeeze your hand once more. Clyde looked back over to you and smiled softly, eyes hesitant. You reached over and held his left hand, thumb running over the joints of the fingers. Jimmy made an embarrassed sound in the back of his throat and Mellie giggled.

“Oh stop, I already have to look at my best friend covered in hickeys from my _brother_ ,” she said, laughing as she poked your neck lightly. You jumped and batted her hand away playfully.

You sat in the shared warmth of the bar, of Jimmy and Mellie’s teasing and joy, of Clyde’s honest and loving eyes, and you knew in the deepest corner of your mind and soul that you belonged right here. One day your parents would see that, but even now in this moment it didn’t matter. Clyde leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead, earning him more taunts, making you all feel like the rowdy teenagers you once were, and you laughed into your bottle of lager.

 

Through the ruckus that filled your corner of the bar, a loud cough startled the four of you into looking over. A man with short white-blond hair was taking a seat next to Mellie, eyes roaming over your group. You knew you had never seen him before. His eyes stopped at your hand, still joined with Clyde’s.

“Well well...is the bartender too busy to get his friend a drink..?” He snickered, nodding a greeting over to Jimmy. Clyde removed his hand from yours and went to fetch the...rather strange man, his beer from the tap. You took notice that Clyde never asked what his order was.

“So little lady. Looks like you’re gettin’ _cozy_ with our favorite bartender over here. Name’s Joe,” he said, taking your unoccupied hand and shaking it quickly.

“This is Sunny,” Mellie replied, smiling, taking Joe’s unusual attitude in stride. “She’s an old friend of ours. And new lady of Clyde’s.”

Joe smirked and raised his glass to his lips. “New lady of Clyde’s, hm? You should know, little miss _sun_ shine, this man here’s a troublemaker.” He chuckled and took a hefty swallow.

“Certainly nothing I didn’t already know.” You grinned, and considered Clyde through your lashes. You took Clyde’s left hand in yours again, thinking about just how much trouble you’d like to get into with him tonight.

“That’s a rather fancy hand you got there Clyde. Cost an _arm_ and a leg, didn’ it?” Joe taunted, eyes shining as he took another swig.

Mellie fixed him with a fierce look and pursed her lips tight; not so subtly sending an elbow to Joe’s side.

 _Well that’s an interesting question_. You had that thought before, the technology of Clyde’s left hand was quite advanced. It was the nicest prosthetic you’d ever seen, not that you had seen too many.

“Clyde, it really is nice. How expensive was it..?” you asked, continuing to rub the smooth metal.

Clyde looked over to Jimmy with a sturdy, deadpan stare. You turned to Jimmy and raised a curved brow.

Jimmy avoided both of your stares and chugged the rest of his Coors Light quickly, setting it down on the bar with a clink.

 

“Cauliflower.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank the readers enough for taking the time to go through this fic. It was my very first, and I am so honored every time I read a comment or see a new kudos left. Thank you so so so much!!! Hope you enjoy the end!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first ever fic. It was co-written with WanderingThought, who was able to pick me up when I was dead out of ideas...I have written stories before, but this has become such a huge passion project for me. Writing really awakened something for me, plus, I am so happy to be writing anything involving Adam Driver characters. Clyde especially, what a sweetie!  
> The reader character is written as a person of color, which I am as well, but a huge goal of this story was to make it accessible for a wide range of readers. I hope that it is something you all will enjoy!  
> Feel free to message me on here, or my tumblr accounts!  
> https://constellationsinmytea.tumblr.com or https://yuuyamiartist.tumblr.com


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